STEVE MCQUEEN

STEVE MCQUEEN FACT OF THE DAY

Steve McQueen served as a pallbearer at Bruce Lee’s funeral.

Steve McQueen, Another Load of Nothin' and My Mother-in-Law

STEVE MCQUEEN FACT OF THE DAY

Steve McQueen’s first lead role was in The Blob, a 1958 horror film.

ANOTHER LOAD OF NOTHIN'

It looks like that poor freezing Canuck will just have to wait for the riveting story and pictures from the NBA Legends brunch. I’m still waiting for one of the White kids to email me the digital photos.

Thank you, Jayden.
Thank you, Brady.
Thank you, Dylan.

But I’m not bitter.

WHY I LOVE MY MOTHER-IN-LAW

As a kid, I can remember dreading the concept of marriage. I owe this fear to the old Bewitched television show. Darren Stevens was married to a hot blonde witch. The down side of the situation was his mother-in-law, Endora. She was a witch too and she hated him. The old bag was constantly changing the guy into things like donkeys, blenders and kitchen tables - the poor slob. Things worked out much better for me in the mother-in-law department. My mother-in-law is one of the nicest people I’ve ever met – and she likes my writing. My wife won’t even read my writing. I guess she’s afraid it’s going to be really awful and she doesn’t want to deal with the ugly truth that I’ve been wasting my time cranking out hundreds of pages of idiotic gibberish when I could have been out there making MONEY. I’m off course again, now aren’t I? This is about my mother-in-law, the anti Endora. The last time I saw her she told me she laughed five times, out loud at my blog postings. Perhaps she’s just trying to make me feel good. If that’s the case it worked. She made me feel great. Beats the hell out of being turned into a kitchen table, doesn’t it?

A Whole Lot of Nothing

To my highly valued readership, I can only extend my sincerest apologies. Today I can offer you absolutely nothing and I’ll tell you why.

About two months ago, I was lucky enough to attend the 10th Annual NBA Legends Brunch with my brother-in-Law and two of my nephews. It was a once in a life time experience. While I had some technical problems with my daughter’s digital camera, my nephews snapped myriads of incredible pictures depicting yours truly hobnobbing with some of the greatest names in the history of basketball. My nephews said they would be happy to shoot me the digital photos via email.

That was two months ago. Yesterday, I talked to my niece about the situation. She assured me she would email the photos as soon as she got home. I rushed home and banged out an eloquent, thought-provoking posting to go with the mind blowing photographs. This morning I raced to check my email. Would you like to know what I found? I found a big fat donut, a whole lot of the nothing. Surely, you can empathize with the disappointment, the devastation, the loss of innocence.

I am compelled to call out my niece and two nephews. Their names are Dylan White, Brady White and Jayden White.

If you are an Arizona reader and an associate of one of the White kids, please tell them I’m not angry or bitter, just disappointed, maybe a little hurt. Tell them it’s not about Uncle Bill. Tell them I’ve got readers in Germany, Sweden, Thailand, and India. I’ve even got readers in Canada for crying out loud. You don’t need to check your eyes - I said I’ve got readers in Canada. You tell those White kids I hope they sleep well tonight. You tell them not to worry about some poor Canadian schlep sitting up there freezing his tail off, twiddling his hockey stick, hoping for something substantive to read. It ain’t goanna happen today, my Canadian cousin, not on this site. So if you see Brady, Dylan or Jayden White basking in the warm Arizona Spring sunshine, you tell them I said thanks, thanks for a whole lot of NOTHING.

On Dangerous Projectiles

I spent the afternoon officiating the discus throw at a high school track meet. It’s a good side gig. The athletes call me sir and the coaches always make it a point to say thank you for helping out. I even got a t-shirt and a barbeque sandwich out of the deal. The only thing I don’t like about judging this particular event is getting hit in the head with the discus. Don’t worry; it’s nothing a little ice, a couple of aspirin and a cold beer won’t cure.

Speaking of getting hit in the head with dangerous projectiles, my nephew was once shot in the head by an arrow. It was Christmas morning. My nephew was screwing around with a bunch of kids and one of them had a bow and arrow. They were seeing how high they could shoot the arrows. One of those arrows fell from the sky and embedded itself in the top of my nephew’s skull. Although the whole thing was a horrific bloody mess, the kid wasn’t seriously injured. They say the top of the skull is remarkably thick. I wasn’t on the scene that Christmas morning, but I picture my nephew with the arrow sticking out from the top of his head just about every time I see him.

What’s the point? If you’re going to judge the discus throw or stand around while people are shooting arrows into the sky, you should probably pay attention. About that ice, aspirin and cold beer…

Yuk, Yuk, Yuk..

I feel compelled to follow up on yesterday's posting. Today is April 2 while of course, yesterday was April 1. And I guess this is the part where I say April Fools.
Yuk, yuk, yuk...

BIG NEWS!

I've got big news - life shaking news. I just received a substatial offer for an advance on my novel, The Spirit Guide Bar from a major publishing company. I may or may not hold out for six figures. Things are pretty crazy at the Snyder household tonight.

More to come tomorrow.

On Twittering

Who twitters? I thought teenagers twittered. My students appear to have every pocket sized piece of technology known to man and they’re engaged in fiddling with one electronic gizmo or another the majority of their waking hours – and some of their sleeping hours, but they don’t twitter, at least they’re not twittering in my neck of the woods. The subject came up in a classroom discussion and I actually had to explain the concept. This may be a first, me explaining a technology related concept to my students. I’m curious, which demographic groups are twittering; furthermore, how come kids don’t twitter?

I’ve got one last question. Would Steve McQueen twitter?

4:30 A.M.

ON WAKING UP AT 4:30

What’s it like to wake up a 4:30 in the morning? It sucks like a Chinese Algae Eater; that’s what it feels like to wake up at 4:30 in the morning! The alarm goes off and I immediately sit up. I do this out of necessity, knowing darned good and well I’ll fall back to sleep if I don't. Convincing myself to stand up at 4:30 in the morning is the hardest thing I do each day. I guess the bright side of this situation is the hardest task of the day is over with before I’ve had my first sip of coffee. Last year I told the principal I’d rather cut off my toes than teach zero hour again. Looking back, that was a creepy thing to say. Who says they’d rather cut off their toes? In Terms of Endearment, Jack Nicholson said, “I’d rather stick pins in my eye balls”. Where am I going with this? I don’t know. Jack Nicholson is a quite an actor. Of course he’s no Steve McQueen, but he’s a good actor. I wonder if McQueen or Nicholson ever had to get up at 4:30.

WRITING REPORT

The agent search is on hold. 300 query emails is enough.

For now, the focus is on the new book. The two week writing push resulted in 114 pages, most of which is exposition. At this point I’m working out several plot lines. This new book is far and away more intricate than anything I’ve attempted to write. I’ve been thinking of changing the working title from The Really Weird Science Guys to Time Specter. Since returning to the classroom, I’ve been putting about an hour a day into the book. I’ll be ecstatic if I can keep up this pace.

It might not be a bad idea to start approaching some magazines with one of my stories from The Eight Fingered Criminal’s Son. I’m also posting a story on the blog every six weeks.

SAY WHAT?

Quick, who is the least funny actor in world?

The answer is, of course, Sean Penn. Some might say Penn was funny as Jeff Spicoli in Fast Times at Ridgmont High. That was, what, thirty ago. I suppose Charles Manson might have been a cute baby thirty years became he became a world class psychopathic killer. Maybe the analogy is a tad bit extreme; the point is Sean Penn appears to have no sense of humor. Where am I going with this? I’ll cut to the quick. Sean Penn is going to portray Larry Fine in the upcoming Three Stooges Movie. Benecio Del Toro will be playing the part of Moe Howard and Jimmy Carrey is in the process of gaining forty pounds in order to play Curley. I’m too shocked over the inclusion of Sean Penn to question the selection of Del Toro. We can all, I think, accept Jim Carry as Curly.

The Farley Brothers are behind this production. Who knows? Perhaps these people know what they are doing. I guess Penn does look and sound a bit like Larry, but I can’t see this thing working out. By the way, this is not a biography of the Three Stooges, it’s a comedy feature film. The Farley’s do have a bit more success in the film business than me, so I’ll have to withhold judgment.

No! No, I don’t. Who in their right mind would hire the unfunniest actor, maybe the unfunniest man on the planet to play the role of one of the funniest men in history? Come on Farley Brothers, producing the Three Stooges movie carries with it monumental comedic responsibility! The world could use a Three Stooges revival, and you guys are giving us Sean Penn???

The King of Cool

Like untold millions of movie fans across the globe, I appreciate the work of Steve McQueen. But my connection with the king of cool runs deeper than that of your average Joe matinee fan. This isn’t something I go around telling people; I guess I’m not much of a namedropper. Maybe I’m feeling a bit whimsical today. Back in ’84, I was a delivery man for Sparkletts Water. Believe it or not, I delivered bottled water to Steve McQueen’s son, Chad. I’m not kidding. I’ll never forget what Steve McQueen’s son said to me that day. He looked me square in the eye and said, “How’s it goin’, man.” And I looked right back at him and said, get this, “Pretty good.” It was profound. Please don’t let your knowledge of this relationship change the way you consider me or my blog. I still put my pants on one leg at a time.

Emily Dickinson, Gilligan's Island and Steve McQueen

Emily Dickinson’s Much Madness is divinest Sense can, without much effort, can be sung to the tune of Gilligan’s Island. Really. I know this stuff. I'm an eleventh grade English teacher. Give it a try. Oh, as far as I know, Steve McQueen has absolutely nothing to do with Emily Dickinson or her poem.

Much Madness is divinest Sense

by Emily Dickinson

Much Madness is divinest Sense -
To a discerning Eye -
Much Sense - the starkest Madness -
'Tis the Majority
In this, as All, prevail -
Assent - and you are sane -
Demur - you're straightway dangerous -
And handled with a Chain -

Twilight, Mujournlumns, and Steve McQueen

The Twilight Phenomenon

What is the deal with Twilight? I just kicked my kids out of the house. Three of my daughters and two of the neighborhood girls, aged five to ten, sat in my living room watching Twilight six times in a row. I told them it was time to do something productive, to go play in the street.

I watched Twilight, even read the book, just to see what the hubbub was all about. It was a good book. I thought the movie was better.

The girls and I picked up the Twilight CD at Target yesterday. The girl at the register said they had to restock the shelves four times in six hours, that she’d never seen a movie move like this one.

When I asked my daughters if they thought it was a little creepy for a hundred year old vampire to date a sixteen year-old girl, they looked at me like I was out of my mind. What do I know? I don’t get it, but I’m thinking the next story I write should have something to do with teenaged vampires.

Why Blog?
The question continues to cross my mind. Why am I blogging? First of all, I tell myself, at least I’m not twittering?

I’m thinking of going to the kitchen to get some pretzels.
I’m eating pretzels.
A glass of milk might go well with the pretzels.

Why am I blogging? It’s a legitimate question.Is it worthy use of my time? After giving it some thought, I came up with three good reasons to blog:

1. Audience Development. I have received almost 1,500 hits in a little less than three months. I’m not exactly Stephen King, but I do have an audience.

2. Networking. I am communicating with other writers; writers like Bluesfrau in Germany, Bulshee in India, Guely in Sweeden, Bryan Frank, Curtis Kessinger, and Keith Boyd in L.A. , Rick Rivers in Northern California, David C. in Indiana, Wenbren in New Mexico, and James West a couple of miles down the road here in Arizona.

3. Mujournlumns . I’m still not sure how to define my blog. A collection of musings? A journal? A column? Maybe it’s a mujournlum. Whatever my blog is, it compels me to write. I’m a writer in the process of becoming a better writer and this blog of mujourlumns seems to facilitate that process.

Steve McQueen

Once again, today's blog has absolutely nothing to do with Steve McQeen.

Writing Report

Today marks the end of my spring writing push. It was a successful two weeks. My third book, The Really Weird Science Guys is off to a solid start at 22,489 words and114 pages.

Steve McQueen

I’m beat. I laid some sod down in the back yard and it was murder on the hamstrings. Somehow I'll get through the pain. It was good to work the land.

The highlight of the day took the form of a bowling excursion with my five year-old, Sophia and my eight year-old, Barit. Barit threw the ball backwards, just missing the knee cap of the bowler in the next lane over. It was funny. The guy in the next lane might have thought it was funny too, if he had a sense of humor. Yeah, I think Barit has a tendency toward bowling accidents. When she
was five, she forgot to let go of the ball and slid halfway down the lane. Kids are cool.


Writing Report

Today I didn’t hit my 2,000 words. 1,600 will have to do for today. I did write a sixteen year-old version of Richard Nixon into the (time travel) story. The prospect of researching Tricky Dick's formative years is compelling.

Steve McQueen

The truth is, other than the fact that he was a cool cat, I don't really have anything to say about Steve McQueen. Sue me.

That's Going to Leave a Mark

Ouch!

Here’s a picture my daughter took at a California Angeles spring training game last month. The batter is in the process of getting nailed in the shoulder with a 96 mile an hour fast ball. Bet that hurts. It’s a good picture, don’t you think?

Writing report

I cranked out another 2,000 palabras today. The Really Weird Science Guys stands at 18,841 and 94 pages. At this point, I’m in writing mode and it’s a bitter sweet place to be. The four or five hours I spend writing each day flies by. When I finish for the day, it feels like I lost time, like the four or five hours never happened, if that makes any sense. When I’m not writing, I’m thinking about writing. When I sleep, I dream about writing. Next week it will be time to turn into a pumpkin when I shift back to teaching mode.

Lost, Life on Mars, and The Really Weird Science Guys

I’m looking forward to a night of TV time travel. I’ll start with an episode of Lost and follow up with an episode of Life on Mars. I’ve been following Lost much better since they established the scrolling cheat notes on the bottom of the screen. Am I the only one who realizes that he writers of Lost are completely stoned?

Writer #1: Dude, let’s put a polar bear on the island.

Writer #2: OK, but only if we can have a VW bus with a case of beer in the back.

Writer #1: Cool. Let’s make Hurley a schizophrenic.

Writer #2: Righteous, dude. Pass the bong.

Last week I discovered a show called, Life on Mars. A modern day cop sustains a head injury and finds himself thirty years back in time or perhaps, in an alternate reality. What a cool show. The music and look really catches the feel of the 1970’s. The production is an American version of the British Life on Mars. I’ll see if I can’t hunt down a version of the original.

Writing Report

Chalk up another solid day of writing. I knocked out 2,100 words. The working title is The Really Weird Science Guys. I know, it doesn’t exactly roll off of the tongue. I was going to change the name to Time Ghost, but somebody already wrote a book called Time Ghost. I’ve played around with Time Spook, Time Spirit, and Time Apparition, but for now I suppose I’ll stick with The Really Weird Science Guys.

My first two books were written in first person and were autobiographical in nature. The Really Weird Science Guys it written from an omniscient point of view, but I couldn’t keep myself out of the story. One of the major characters is obviously based on me. All of the characters seem to be based on people I have known. There is an awful lot of action in the story, more than I anticipated. This is a good thing. I’m looking forward to pounding out another 2,000 tomorrow.