Four of a Kind

I’ve been tagged by fellow blogger, Bullshee of India.

http://monkinhotwater.blogspot.com/

Here are Bulshee’s instructions.

"The basic idea, which does not need you to derive Heisenberg's Principle of Uncertainty is to fill in headings (sets of four), with your own words...don't use mine again. I'll kick your ruddy ass if you do."

FOUR BAD JOKES

1. Why won’t cannibals eat clowns?
They taste funny.

2. Why did the genie go to school?
He wanted to become a genie-us.

3. My brother fell into an upholstery machine.
Don’t worry, he’s fully recovered.

4. What happened to the thief when he fell into a cement mixer?
He became a hardened criminal.

FOUR VERY COOL BIG SCREEN PERSONALITIES





1. Steve McQueen.
The original king of cool.



2. Bruce Lee
He’s Bruce Lee for Crying out loud.


3. Denzel Washington
Smooth.




4. John Wayne
The Duke makes my list for spanking Maureen O’Hara.


FOUR BOOKS NOT TO READ



1. The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
This book was so bad I stopped reading the thing. And I paid $14.95 for the piece of junk. I don’t understand how this author made something as intriguing as time travel so monotonous.



2. The Cell by Stephen King.
Say it ain’t so Stevie. How could such a great writer who wrote a rotten book. Actually he’s written a few stinkers over the years, but The Cell just might be his worst. The premise is kind of cool, maybe even funny. Everyone in America turns into a zombie except the people who don’t own a cell phone. Good premise or not, It’s a mess

3. The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova.
I want my time back. How do you write a dry vampire story? Make it a story about librarian vampires, which is what Kostova did. Horrible!

4. Hawkes Harbor by S.E. Hinton
Another bad vampire book. S.E. Hinton wrote some great books. The Outsiders was a masterpiece. Hawkes Harbor is the first book Hinton wrote in something like 25 years. I guess she lost something in the lay off. Perhaps she should stick to writing about teenaged kids instead of grown up vampires.

FOUR FUNNY MOVIES

1. What’s Up Doc?
Funniest movie I’ve ever seen. Strangely enough, the movie starred Barbara Streisand and Ryan O’Neil, neither of whom where comedians. Furthermore it was directed by Peter Bogdanovich, a guy who wasn’t known for making comedies. The film includes the greatest comedic car chase ever shot.

2. Be Kind, Rewind
I saw this movie with my wife about a year ago. She did not seem to appreciate the humor. I’m pretty sure most people did not appreciate the humor since I was the only person in the theater who was laughing uncontrollably for the duration of the film.

3. Animal House
There’s never been anything like it. John Belushi was in his prime. Director John Landis nailed the elitist nature of college fraternities.

4. Slap Shot
This has got to be the funniest sports movie ever produced. Paul Newman is hilarious but it’s the Hanson brothers that steal the show. Whether you like hockey or not, it's funny stuff.

I’ve tagged the following superbloggers.

1. Bluesfrau of Germany

http://bluesfrau.blogspot.com/

2. Guely of Sweden

http://guelyofsweden.blogspot.com/

3. BeFrank of L.A.

http://coolshots.blogspot.com/

4. David C. of Indiana

http://minniesboys.blogspot.com/

The Arizona Justice League of Photographers Ride

The Arizona Justice League of Photographers embarked on its inagaural mission to Prescott, Arizona on Saturday July 18, 2009.

Isn't this slick? I got a shot of Fellow Justice League member, Eric taking a picture in the Prescott town square.

I happen to be a member of the newly created Arizona Justice League of Photographers. We were inspired by the Bryan Frank and the original Justice League of Photographers in Los Angeles. My photographey background begins and ends with the photography class I took as a freshman in high school.

The five members of the Justice League stopped for lunch at the Palace Bar on Whiskey Row.

The building burned to the ground in the Whiskey Row fire of 1900. The bar you see above was saved. Patrons disassembled the bar and reasssembled it across the street in the town square. The bartenders continued serving drinks as the Palace went up in flames.

Junior Bonner with Steve McuQueen was filmed in Prescott in the early seventies. One of the major scenes was shot in the Palace Bar.

The newspaper clipping above is located in the men's restroom. That's Steve MccQueen without the shirt. The girl is his costar Barbra Leigh. I think it's a cool photo. Sorry about the weak photography on my part.

I snapped this photo because they were advertising $8.50 Budweiser draft beers. I went with a glass of water. If I want to pay $8.50 for a beer I'll go to an professional baseball game.

I had a Rueben sandwich and corn chowder. It wasn't bad.

How about a cheesy dog photo?

Fellow blogger, Blues Frau in Germany takes fantastic Bicycle photos. Thought I'd try my hand.

Here's a shot of a couple of Justice League photgraphers. That's Rick the I.T. Guy down low and his brother, Clif The Lawyer up high. They actually knew what they were doing.

This is Matt's Saloon on Whiskey Row. Legend has it that Bruce Springsteen rolled up on his Harley one night in 1989. Locals say he bellied up to the bar, had a couple of cold ones and proceeded to play a set with the house band.

Here's a photo of the Boss and the E Street Band, not Matt's House Band.

You never know who you're going to run into on Whiskey Row. Here's a shot of Kris Kristopherson. Pretty cool, huh. Bryan Frank and the original Justice League of photograhers got a shot of Shugg Knight of Death Row Records in Hollywood a couple of weeks ago. I think Kris Kristopherson trumps Shugg Knight. OK this isn't Kris Kristopherson. It's actually Wild Bill Kathan, but he looks a heckuva lot like Kris Kristopherson. He's planning on breaking the world pushup record next month. The standing record is 1,400 pushups in an hour. Good luck, Wild Bill.

This is Wild Bill's car.

And here's a shot of your's truly rifding in the back seat of Wild Bill's car.

The first potography excursion of the Arizona Justice League was a success. We plan to meet again in a month or so. The real photographers are going to send me some photos and I'll post them as soon as possible.

Bryan Frank and the original Justice League of Photographers, thanks for the inspiration.

TEECHUR JOURNAL - September 28, 1988

I have been keeping a teaching journal as long as I’ve been teaching. Here is a 21 year-old entry. If my arithmetic serves me correctly - and it always does, I was 28 years old and in my third year of teaching.

Bethune Junior High School, South Central Los Angeles
September 28, 1988 – Wednesday (Hump Day)

The American Basketball team was defeated by the Soviets last night. I didn’t see the game. I really hate painting. Always have. I’m not even finished- will have to go back tonight.

I feel buried. I’ve got too many projects going with the classes I’m teaching, the classes I’m taking at Cal State Dominguez Hills, the house I’m preparing to rent out, and the greeting card company I’m trying to get off the ground.

Screw it; I’m going to tell you about Randy Watkins. Randy’s an eighth grader. He goes about 4’8 and about seventy pounds. This kid is in high gear all day long – and he never stops smiling. Randy is in my fifth period reading class. Class always begins with 20 minutes of silent sustained reading. My boy, Randy was reading the Guinness Book of World Records. He kept sharing things like, “Oooh, did you guys know there’s a man that weighs 1,400 pounds?” I kept telling him to knock it off and he kept saying, “I’m sorry Mr. Snyder, but this is the kind of stuff people got to know. This went on the entire reading period. What a riot.

Last Friday I mentioned that I had an awful lot of papers to grade over the weekend. When the passing bell rang Randy offered to come home with me for the weekend and help me grade papers.

1988

Bull Durham came out in 1988.

Ronnie Regan was serving the last year of his presidency.

Steven Hawking published A Brief History of Time.

The L.A. Lakers defeated the Detroit Pistons to become the NBA champions.

Thriller was released in 1988.

"Lee Harvey Oswald (1963)"

An exept from The Eight Fingered Criminal's Son
“Lee Harvey Oswald (1963)"
by W.Z Snyder
© 2006 William Snyder


It was 1963 and I was in a Sears’ department store elevator with my grandmother. The doors slid silently open. An enormous black woman filled the doorway. Her face was soaked with tears. “They killed Kennedy!” I looked up to my grandmother and she was crying too. Scanning the towering occupants of the elevator, I could see thatthey were all weeping and things seemed out of control. Although I hadn’t the slightest understanding of what was happening, I was scared to death.

My memory jump cuts to the dinner table at my grandparents’ home. We were having Jell-O. Tiny chunks of pears, peaches and bananas bounced around inside the cubes. My grandfather, who had been eating in silence, suddenly slammed his great lumberman’s fist on the table, “Goddamit! I knew they’d never let a Catholic run this country!” My Jell-O reverberated wildly in the glass bowl. On the wall behind my grandfather hung a picture of JFK and another of the blonde, blue-eyed surfer version of Jesus Christ.

My memory jump cuts again. Sitting with my my legs crossed, Indian style on the giant oval rug in front of my grandparents’ black and white television set, I watch a scene that I have already carefully observed at least a dozen times. Lee Harvey Oswald’s hands are cuffed as he rounds the corner in the underground parking structure. Dwarfed by giant gray men in cowboy hats, he wears a five o’clock shadow and looks like one if the guys who work on their cars behind my apartment building. I hate him because he is the man who killed the Catholic president. A man appears from nowhere, his broad back to the camera. I know that his name is Jack Ruby. He bum-rushes Oswald as the towering cowboy policemen stand by - useless. There is the muffled sound of gunshots. Oswald’s face looks almost funny. His eyes are shut and he looks as though he is trying very hard to whistle. This incredibly chaotic, enigmatic scene is cemented into the foundations of the husband, father, and teacher I have since become.

Society has Lost it's Finesse

My wife and I took the kids to the bargain matinee Friday. Unlike many adults, my children, aged six, eight, and eleven demonstrated the ability to quietly watch a movie without disturbing others. We saw Imagine That with Eddie Murphy. It was a decent little movie - as kids movies go. But the real show was in the theater. The last thing I want to do is sound like some kind of curmudgeon, but I’m telling you the screw balls were out in force. About ten minutes into the movie a woman four rows up from me started texting. Fighting off the urge to yell at her or throw something at her, I tried to focus on the movie.

It wasn’t long before my attention was diverted to a whining kid up front in the center row. Someone told the kid to shut up so the woman picked the kid up and wandered to the back of the theater and stood, where else, right next to yours truly. The little brat continued to whine. I looked at the woman. She looked at me. Nothing. The rotten kid kept right on whining. How stupid was this broad? I finally whispered, “Come on, lady” prompting her to move to a spot directly behind a senior citizen. By now I and forgotten about the movie. The old lady turned around and shushed the kid. She woman shushed the old lady back.

My attention was sucked away from the shushing duel when a rather large woman slammed into the back of my seat and sat directly behind me. She proceeded to make grunting noises, pop her gum and kick my seat, and hack away with horrific phlegm filled cough for the duration of the movie. Not wanting to blow my top in front of my kids I kept it in, just ate the anger. What’s wrong with people? I mean is it just me or are there not an inordinate number of nincompoops running around loose out there? It’s getting worse. I’m stealing a line from the movie, Duets when I tell you I’m afraid society has lost its finesse.

I’m done with movie theaters for a while.

STEVE MCQUEEN NEWS

A biographical film based on the life of Steve McQueen is in the works. Brad Pitt is under consideration to play the King of Cool.

Speaking of Brad Pitt, I finally got the chance to rent the film, Benjamin Button. Everything I heard about the film was bad. More than anything people said it was just too long. I thought it was a cool movie. Not only was it poignant and quirky, but it was funny. The film left me with two important lessons. First, we don’t get back the time we waste and second, there is no right or wrong way to live our lives. The film is Based on a short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald; I thought it was interesting that the main character’s love interest is named Daisy. Good movie. Thumbs up, baby.

The Three Stooges, Sarah Palin, and a Good Book

Sean Penn is out as Larry in the Three Stooges Movie. Anybody surprised? Penn’s a talented guy. I’ll give him that. But he ain’t funny. You have got to be funny if You’re going to be one of the Three Stooges, baby.

Word on the street is Paul Giamanni may be the new Larry. I can dig that. Paul Giamanni is a funny guy. Our tentative line up of stooges includes Jim Carry as Curly, Benicio Del Torro as Mo, and Paul Giamanni as Larry.

Paul Giamanni, mind you, is not officially in. If Paul doesn’t work out, I have a nomination. It turns out the Alaska fishermen were kidding about Sarah Palin making the buddy picture with Jack Black. This means she’s wide open if the price is right. I’m telling you, Sarah Palin just might be our Stooge.

THE THINGS THEY CARRIED

Tim O’Brien’s The Things They Carried is a profound book about the Vietnam War. The book is also about writing, truth, and reality. The stories are based are based on the author’s experiences as a soldier in Vietnam.

O’Brien points out that writing is a form of dreaming. Ain’t that the truth? And when you get right down to it, we are creating our own stories when we dream, aren’t we? The author also blew me away with the concept that writing about the dead allows them to live again.

O’Brien writes “...the story-truth is truer sometimes than happening-truth.” I love this concept. The longer it takes to write the story down, the more ambiguous the truth becomes. Do you remember James Frey’s book, A Million Tiny Pieces? It’s a riviting story of a man’s experiences in a drug rehabilitation center. Oprah Winfrey promoted the book on her show and Frey sold millions of copies. When it was discovered that after marketing the book as a memoir, the author had stretched the truth from time to time, Oprah lambasted the guy on network television for lying. It worked out OK for Frey; the ass chewing prompted millions of readers to buy his second book. But dog gone it, Frey should have told Oprah, “You simply don’t understand writing, lady. As Tim Obrien aid, the story truth is truer sometimes than the happening truth.

Sorry about the digression. Tim Obrien’s The Things They Carried is one of the best, most unique, and quite possibly the truest books I’ve read.

WRITING REPORT

The John Wayne story is finished At 3,400 words. The story entails John Wayne showing up at my house Christmas night asking for a drink. The two of us end up playing a grueling one on one basketball game that lasts until dawn. I seem to have this thing about putting myself in my stories. Wish I knew why I wrote the thing. Sigmund Freud would have his hands full figuring out why the hell I wrote this thing.

The problem is I haven’t been able to sit down at the computer for more than a couple of hours at a pop. I can’t seem to establish any kind of rhythm. The summer production stands at three stories and 8,500 words. I'll keep slugging.

SARAH PALIN TO SHOOT BUDDY PICTURE WITH JACK BLACK

You heard it here first; Sarah Palin has signed a lucrative deal to shoot a buddy picture with Jack Black. How do I know this? Let’s just say I have a connection with a few Alaska Salmon fishermen.



Writing Report

I was able to bang out 1,400 words of a new short story. In this one John Wayne shows up at my house on Christmas night to drink Scotch and talk wax philosophical.

I still haven’t been able to hit my stride and I do turn into a pumpkin in two weeks when I report back to school.

A Trip to the Movies

In an effort to escape the 107 degree heat I took my girls to see 17 Again with the kid from the High School Musical movies. The flick held my attention and my girls seemed to enjoy themselves. It was a little mature for kids and a little dopey for adults; I guess it was geared toward teeny boppers. The adult stuff blew right past my girls so I guess nobody will be psychologically scarred for life.


Commander McBragg?

Blues Frau of Germany asked the following question: who is Commander McBragg?

Well here goes, Blues Frau. Commander McBragg was a 1960s cartoon about an old blow hard British guy. He hung out at some elitist club telling whoever he could corner about his daring exploits in history. It was pretty funny. If my memory serves me correctly, Commander McBragg usually aired with The Rocky and Bullwinkle show and Tennessee Tuxedo. By the way, I can sound exactly like Bullwinkle the Moose.

You can see Commander McBragg cartoons on You Tube.