William Snyder's One Minute Book Talk #1

MORE MUSINGS OF A SOON TO BE BUG MAN WRITER

I'm still anxiously waiting to start my post teaching bug man career. The bug wars begin August 5th and I've been plugging away at the insect manuals every day. Here's a neat little factoid: scientists believe ancient scorpions were eight feet long. I know. I really need to start back to work. August 5th seems like a long way off, especially to my wife and kids. I've been peppering them all with bug trivia for weeks now. They tell me I'm driving them nuts. They're such kidders.

I've settled into a productive writing routine. Most of the stories for TEECHUR: CONFESSIONS OF A RELUCTANT EDUCATOR are finished.  Test readers have told me that my teacher stories might be a little dark. That has something to do with the fact that the state of education in America is a lot dark. Still, I don't want to drive my readers to utter despair.  I've been trying to come up with glass is half full stories. Last week I was able to write 1,500 to 2,000 words a day. The hardest part has been the concept of writing optimistically about my most recent position, especially the last year. The last year was in many ways the most difficult of my 25 year career. It looks like my thoughts about my recent teaching experiences are going to need some time to simmer.

I'm considering releasing TEECHUR in four parts, as affordable Ebooks and then the releasing a complete bound version. I understand Indy writers are finding some success at this kind of thing.

If you're new to this site, I've published two books. The first is THE EIGHT-FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON, a mostly true collection of stories about growing up in 1970s Southern California. The second is THE SPIRIT GUIDE BAR, a mostly true account of a bona fide transcendental journey.

The best place to buy these books is at THE BOOK FROG in Rolling Hills, California. If you live 500 miles from Rolling Hills you can by the Ebooks or bound versions at the link below.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Spirit-Guide-William-Snyder/dp/1483924211/ref=tmm_pap_title_0

MUSINGS OF A BUG MAN WRITER

A local bug control outfit has agreed to bring me on board to do battle with cockroaches, fire ants, bees, and scorpions. The boss even said he will let me wear the bee suit. I always wanted to wear a bee suit.

MUSINGS OF A BUG MAN WRITER. Sounds like a book to me.

I've been reading up on bugs and I've been picking up some interesting tidbits.
Bees and domesticated dogs kill more American's than all others combined. Bees killed 55 while Fidos and Rovers killed 33. And you are most likely to be bitten by a black widow while sitting in an outhouse.  Fascinating, huh?

My kids headed off for their first day of school today. This is the first first day of school that I did not stand in front of a classroom filled with teenagers in a very long time.  This is a good thing.

My bug man gig doesn't start for a couple of weeks. In the mean time I will work  on my new book, TEECHUR: CONFESSIONS OF A RELUCTANT EDUCATOR.

THE SPIRIT GUIDE BAR and THE EIGHT-FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON are available at THE BOOK FROG in Rolling Hills, California.

You can order eBooks or bound versions by clicking on this link
http://www.amazon.com/The-Spirit-Guide-William-Snyder/dp/1483924211

LMAO

I've been a former teacher for five weeks now. Hopefully, I will begin my new career as a bug man/writer within the  next week or so. Last week I applied for a job writing humorous educational study guides. I was asked to write a cover letter that would cause the reader to LMAO in the first paragraph. If the reader did not "LMAO by the end of the first paragraph, I was assured the cover letter and resume would be shredded.

Here is what I sent them.

 

Hello,

When I was twelve I accidentally threw a dart into the side of the head of a kid by the name of Cary Blazjowski. He ran home with the dart wagging up and down from the side of his head and I followed, hoping to convince him not to tell on me. He told. His sister, Astrid Blazjowski, gave me the beating of my life with a yellow Con-air hair dryer while Cary watched, the dart still hanging there on the side of his head. But it wasn't as bad as you might think. Astrid Blazejowski was sixteen, and she was hot, and she was wearing a purple bikini. Astrid might have killed me if Richard Milhouse Nixon hadn't been on hand to pull her off of me and administer some basic medical attention. Okay, the President Nixon part didn't happen, I was just trying to make this whole thing sound a little more academic.

I spent twenty-five years as a teacher. That makes me – old. Sure I'm old, but I know stuff, man. I know that many Emily Dickinson poems can be sung to the tune of Gilligan's Island. And I know the opposite of Thoreau is Ca-atch. I know that John Hansen, not George Washington, was the first president of the United States – under the Articles of Confederation. A lot of history teachers are aware of John Hanson and the Articles of Confederation, but very few of them know that the Hanson Brothers of MMMBop fame are direct descendants of the first president. Okay, no they aren't, but it would it would be pretty funny if they were. I relate to the youth of America because I was be the best rapper in my old neighborhood. It's true. The parents in my hood always asked me to wrap their Christmas gifts because I could do tight bows and I used the sickest wrapping paper. Man, I could wrap.

Finally, I spent a few years researching, writing, creating and hosting humorous educational television programming. As a matter of fact, I once did a live broadcast as Abraham Lincoln and I wasn't wearing any pants. If your still reading, I assume you no longer have an ass and look forward to discussing my quirky qualifications and can be reached at griggit@yahoo.com or 480-867-5309.

Thank you,

Bill Snyder

I must assume that the folks at the educational study guide company do indeed still have their asses as I have not heard back.  I guess you can't make 'em all LMAO.

You can order copies of my books "THE EIGHT-FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON" and "THE SPIRIT GUIDE BAR" by clicking on the link below.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Spirit-Guide-William-Snyder/dp/1483924211

Thanks to my former student Mike I. for the kind words about "THE SPIRIT GUIDE BAR." You made my day, Mike!

Finally, the four major cockroach species found in North America are the German cockroach, the Oriental cockroach, the American cockroach, and the brown-banded cockroach - also known as the person at the humorous educational study guide company who didn't LMAO when he read my cover letter cockroach.

Bug Man/Writer?

It's been a little over a month since I last stood before a classroom of teenagers and I've been wrangling for a job as a bug man. I jokingly told my students I was leaving teaching to become a bug man and now here we are. It looks like I may very well be on my way to becoming a bona fide bug man. There just might  be a book in this mid-life career change.  Make way for the bug man/writer. I'm narrowing my niche. How many bug man/writers who sell their books at auto repair shops and barber shops could there possibly be?

By the way, the  mouth parts of insects are divided into four categories: piercing and sucking, siphoning, sponging, and chewing. I know. I'm showing off, but I can't help it.

And you can order my books THE EIGHT-FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON and THE SPIRIT GUIDE BAR by clicking on this link:
http://www.amazon.com/The-Spirit-Guide-William-Snyder/dp/1483924211

tHE coMedY GuyS

I give you the COMEDY GUYS. The five of us did a lot of comedy in the 80s. But now we don't care what the temperature is. More often than not, we performed well past midnight, for a handful of drunks, at the smallest of small-time clubs of LA and Hollywood.  We had a few adventures. For example, we were with Rosanne Barr the night before she got her big break on the Tonight Show. I should clarify that when I say we "with" Rosanne Barr I mean to say we were having a beer with her. Our comedy careers all ended a couple of decades ago. We've all moved on with our day jobs audience members suggested we refrain from quitting. One of us is a TV news cameraman, another is an airplane engineer, one of us is some kind of rocket scientist, another is a school district muckety-muck, and the last just quit his teaching job to write books and find a better direction in life and is writing this little blog entry when he really should be seeking for gainful employment.

THE JUNE 8th SPIRIT GUIDE BAR REaDING AT THE BOOK FROG

These  photographs were taken by the talented writer/photographer Bryan Frank.
Find out more about Bryan's photography and writing here: http://coolshots.blogspot.com/2013/06/to-biker.html?spref=fb
Bryan and I have been good friends since 1981. That's...a long time.

My wife, four of my five daughters, four grandbabies, and a whole lot of old friends, classmates, neighbors and colleagues filled up that little book store.

Like any other red blooded American author, my pre reading routine includes a hard slap across the face. Really gets the blood flowing. Man it's the only way to go. The young man behind the hand is Adam Rodriguez.

This was my third Book Frog reading. Bookstore owner Pete Ledesma always takes care of me. Pete's a writer, stand-up comic, radio DJ, musician, and former teacher. Man, he does everything but sell popcorn.

It was a good crowd, upwards of 60 people and they even laughed at the funny parts.

 

 

 
 

 

 




I read three selections from Spirit Guide. I even had something for the kids, a detailed description of an exceptionally painful vasectomy procedure at the hands of a man hating lady doctor.

Here's my Camia Frank, an up and coming LA writer.

That's Kerry Anderson of the Groundlings improve troupe. Her son William the Kid is in the middle. And that's film maker Eric Tozzi. Eric worked with Ray Bradbury to produce a film version of the Bradbury short story "Kaleidoscope." It's a great little film.
In the background is Margie Galindo Lopez. We went to school together from first grade through high school. We hadn't seen each other since 1978. Margie informed me that when her young children asked what BS really meant she told them it meant Bill Snyder.  She said that even her husband has been known to say, "Awe, that's a bunch of Bill Snyder."

Here are a few members of Hawthorne, California's Frink family. Debbie, on the left, has been singing in the Saint Joseph church choir since the 60s. Debbie and the Frink ladies gave me a lot of scoop on the history of Hawthorne and Saint Joseph's Church that would have come in handy when I was writing The Spirit Guide Bar.

Here's the man who convinced me to publish my writing. He is the face behind CACTUS SURF BOOKS. He's Clif the Lawyer. I call him Clif the Lawyer because he's a dentist.

Here's yours truly with three Saint Joe's Catholic School vets.

We sold a whole mess of books.
It was a good day.

MAY 18TH SPIRIT GUIDE BAR PIZZA JOINT SIGNING PICS

Writer, Photographer, Producer, Diana Garcia shows off her books with style. 

 

FAMILY!

 

 

             I was actually reading a memorized portion of Fifty Shades of Gray. Nobody caught on.

 

 

With friends and former students

 

 

Cruz-Boy digs pizza.

 

 

You can't beat a book and a cookie deal.

 

 

 

The plastic tip to a shoe string is called an aglet.

 

 

                                                                       
                                                 JFK was not the youngest president.
                                                                                         

SPIRIT GUIDE BAR PIZZA JOINT BOOK SIGNING

The Spirit Guide Bar Pizza Joint Book Signing Event went down May 18th.  I'm still processing the good vibrations my family, friends, colleagues, and students brought to that funky pizza joint.

The photo above represents a mini Educational Management Group/Planet Think reunion: Diana Garcia, Yours Truly, Tom Hamblin, Clifton Batchelor, and Val Batchelor. We worked together to produce educational television programming some 15 years ago.

Wendy Fry Zeller was in attendance. I don't think I had seen Wendy since the 1970s. Like me, Wendy came to Arizona from Hawthorne, California a couple of decades ago. Like me, Wendy is a high school teacher in Chandler, Arizona. She recently became a teacher after a 21 year career as Phoenix police officer. Things were somewhat chaotic in that pizza joint, but we got the chance to talk for a few minutes. Wendy reminded me or we figured out, I don't remember which, that we lived less than a block from  each other as kids. She remembered many of the characters described in "The Eight-Fingered Criminal's Son." Small world, huh? Pretty cool stuff.

A few students and former students dropped by, leaving me with a solid understanding that my 25 years in the teaching business has been a legitimate privilege.

A pizza joint is a great place to do a book signing, but maybe not so great for a reading. There was a little league team party going down 20 feet from where I attempted to do a short reading. Projecting with everything I had, I gave it my best to read louder than 15 jacked up nine year-olds. I don't know that anyone was actually able to follow my reading but it was pretty quirky, pretty funny, pretty much perfect for a reading of "The Spirit Guide Bar."

I will post more pictures soon...

Oh, and "The Eight-Fingered Criminal's Son" and "The Spirit Guide Bar" are available at amazon.com.

"DAVE CRUZ" WITH KATHY OCH'S ENGLISH CLASS

I took the opportunity to snap the above photo after doing a reading of "Dave Cruz" for Kathy Och's English class this week  in Chandler, Arizona. Good thing I'm calling myself a writer and not a photographer. Good looking group. Energetic too.  Yeah, I really dig doing these readings for high school and college classes. The process never fails to teach me something about myself and my writing.
I'm feeling major appreciation mojo to Kathy Och for allowing me to spend the time with her students and Big Dave Cruz for providing the inspiration for this increasingly popular story...

READING "DAVE CRUZ" FOR IAN JOHNSON'S ENGLISH CLASSES AT GATEWAY COLLEGE

Ian Johnson was kind enough to give me the opportunity to read "Dave CRUZ" for his English 101 classes at Gateway College in Phoenix. The Q and A sessions were enjoyable, providing me with a boatload of insight.
A few students asked about Createspace.
Here is the link.
https://www.createspace.com/

"DAVE CRUZ" READINGS WITH KIM MORGAN AND IAN JOHNSON

I believe I've found my book reading groove! Kim Morgan's high school creative writing class was an outstanding audience. I enjoyed the heck out of reading "Dave Cruz" to them. The Q and A session was electrifying. These students were obviously serious about writing and they asked fantastic questions.

This is Ian Johnson's English 101 class at South Mountain Community College. Again, there was a boat load of energy in the room as I read "Dave Cruz." The class was kind enough to laugh at the funny parts. Ian's class was a unique college reading experience in that many of the students were older. Their life experience was evident in their questions.  The Q and A session went longer than I expected  and I sold every book I brought. 

Doing readings is the one of the most rewarding aspects of this writing venture of mine. It seems that every time I do a Q and A session I learn something about my writing and my writing process.

A note to Ian and Kim's students: I can't tell you how much I enjoyed the readings and Q and A sessions. THANK YOU! If you would like a copy of THE EIGHT-FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON  let your instructor know and I'll get you a signed copy at the discounted price.

Here is the Createspace link we discussed in class.
https://www.createspace.com/

Also, here is the link to my website. We'll be updating it for the release of SPIRIT GUIDE BAR soon.
http://www.williamsnyder.biz/

You can send me questions about writing, promotions, or publishing at my website.

ADVICE FROM RAY BRADBURY

Ray Bradbury once said something about jumping off cliffs and making wings on the way down. Ray, wherever you are, I took your advice. I told the boss I will not be returning to Basha High School next year. My wings are books. THE EIGHT-FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON is available on Amazon.com and at THE BOOK FROG and THE SPIRIT GUIDE BAR is on track for release in March. 

 GERONIMO!!!

 

You can purchase a copy of THE EIGHT-FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON by clicking on this link.
http://www.amazon.com/The-Eight-Fingered-Criminals-William-Snyder/dp/1468142585

SO I WROTE THIS BOOK...

So I wrote this book. It's called the Spirit Guide Bar. I'm sending the manuscript off the the editors this week. God willin' and the creek don't rise, the book will be released in March.

 

My first book, THE EIGHT-FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON, is available on Amazon.com. You can buy the ebook for a measly 5 bucks.
http://www.amazon.com/The-Eight-Fingered-Criminals-Son-ebook/dp/B0083LH4HU/ref=tmm_kin_title_0
 
You can find THE EIGHT-FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON at the following locations:
 
THE BOOK FROG, Rolling Hills, California
https://www.facebook.com/TheBookFrog#!/TheBookFrog
 
PAPA JOE'S BARBER SHOP, Chandler, Arizona
http://www.papajoesbarbershop.com/photos.html

CHANDLER AUTO AND TIRE, Chandler, Arizona

ZIA RECORDS, 10 locations in Arizona and Nevad

EXCELLENT KITE FLYING WEATHER

The photograph above hasn't really got anything to do with this week's posting. It's just that blogger has switched things up and I can't figure out how to post new images. I'm wondering if any of my fellow bloggers are experiencing similar problems.

I'm still editing THE SPIRIT GUIDE BAR. My father-in-law read 50 pages of the book to me out loud Saturday. It helped me catch a few glitches, especially with flow and pacing. The book is still on track to be released in March.

I'd like to extend my congratulations to Richard Rios on the success of his new book SONGS FROM THE BARRIO. The book is available at the link below:
http://www.amazon.com/Songs-Barrio-Modesto-Stories-ebook/dp/B00AFYMHOI

My first book THE EIGHT-FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON is available at the following link. You can download the ebook for a measly three bucks.
http://www.amazon.com/Eight-Fingered-Criminals-Son-William-Snyder/dp/1468142585/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1358786962&sr=1-1&keywords=the+eight-fingered+criminal%27s+son

THE EIGHT-FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON received its first so-so Amazon review this week:
"It was a good read; just not that exceptional in my opinion. I've talked to people who thought it was hilarious and a must read, so maybe it's just me." (3 of 5 stars)

We had a cold spell here in Chandler, Arizona. The temps got down to the low 20s last week. My ficus trees took a beating. It 'll take them a couple of years to recover. We're looking at temperatures in the mid-70s today. Excellent kite flying weather.

I don't even own a kite. Did I really just write a paragraph about the weather? Guess I'd better get back to editing.