Technology Wars and My Vast Army of Eleven Reguular Readers

AT WAR WITH TECHNOLOGY

Am I the only man in America who can’t send a simple fax without assistance? I spent forty-five minutes trying to launch a fax this afternoon. Finally, I gave up and called the technology guy out to the scene. Thank goodness he possessed the expertise to point out that I was dialing the receiving party’s phone number instead of her fax number.

AGENT SEARCH STATS

Query Emails Sent: 186

Rejections received: 33

Under Consideration: 15

Miscellaneous: 1

EMAIL REJECTION OF THE DAY

Please forgive this impersonal note regarding your query, which we have considered but must decline. As we receive a tremendous number of queries, we are unable to respond to each submission individually, but we thank you for the opportunity to review your work. We encourage you to keep writing and to try other agents.

The truth is I appreciate the blatant automated rejection. It’s honest. It saves me the aggravation of trying to determine whether or not it’s an automated response.

BLOG HIT NUMBER 220 AND MY VAST ARMY OF ELEVEN READERS

I just picked up my 220th hit. If you divide that by fourteen days, that’s… er… well, it’s more than one hit a day. The #167 Dad blog is moving forward. I do happen to know I have eleven regular readers. Did you know Emily Dickenson didn’t have any readers until she died? Yeah, Emily, I got eleven readers and I’m alive, baby. Did you know when Shakespeare started out with just six regular readers? OK, I don’t know how many readers Shakespeare started out with, but he did have to start somewhere and at some point in his illustrious career I’ll bet he had less than eleven regular readers. The point is, I have eleven readers and that’s a good thing – dammit. Thank you, army of eleven. I appreciate each and every one of you.

You may be wondering who makes up WZ Snyder’s vast army of eleven readers? Let me tell you about regular reader. His name is Bryan Frank. You can read his blog at http://coolshots.blogspot.com/. It’s good stuff all about broadcast journalism in L.A. Bryan’s Blog has a quarter of a million hits. This means he has more than eleven regular readers. He often drops feedback in my comment box.

His latest comment reads “ZZZZZZZZ.”

Bryan and I have been friends since college. We’ve collaborated on a couple of writing projects, performed standup comedy together, and co-hosted a cable television show. It’s Bryan who encouraged me to take a serious stab at publishing my writing. I know what you’re thinking. Why would a devoted friend drop such a scathing comment in my box? The answer is quite simple. Bryan dropped the acidic comment because my posting was about football. You see, Bryan is an otherwise normal healthy American man who doesn’t like sports. It’s true. Last Super Bowl Sunday, just for the hell of it, I called Bryan to ask who was playing in the big game. His answer was, “I dunno, the Dodgers?” I have no idea how a man reaches middle age in America with no connection whatsoever to the great American pastimes of baseball, football, and basketball, but he did. Here’s a heads up Bryan. When I call you on Super Bowl Sunday morning to ask, just for the hell of it, who’s playing in the Super Bowl, the correct answer will be the Arizona Cardinals.