A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum.

BILL AND WAYNE'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURES IN THE QUIRKY WORLD OF FILM


I don’t know about you folks, but I’m less than impressed with the modern day movie theater experience. The product is hardly worth the ten bucks admission. As for the theatergoers, forget it. Babies cry, children run, an insipid galaxy of blinking cell phones lit up by text messengers destroys all semblance of concentration, people hold conversations with each other or talk on their cell phones.


“Hello. Yeah, I’m at the movies. What’s up?”

Nincompoops.


I’ll steer clear of movie theaters whenever possible, thank you. I’ll stick with the dollar movie rentals in the red box at the grocery store. Better yet, I’ll pick up a couple of bagels head over to Big Wayne’s house for a Saturday morning quirky classic matinee.

Wayne and I recently enjoyed the 1966 comedy musical, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, staring comedic geniuses Zero Mostel, Phil Silvers, Jack Gilford and Buster Keaton. You might remember Jack Gilford as the guy from the Cracker Jacks commercials – if an ARP card and Buster Keaton for his silent film comedies – if you’re a ghost. This was Buster Keaton’s last film role. Based on the Broadway musical, set in ancient room and shot somewhere in Spain, the film provides an endless array of one-liners, running gags, pratfalls, and gorgeous women.


Wayne and I laughed out loud – a lot.

Here are a few of my favorite lines:

“For us there will never be happiness.”

“Then we must learn to be happy without it.”
“Was one a good year for wine?”

“Oh, her bridal bower becomes a burial bier of bitter bereavement!"
“Very good! Can you say "Titus the tailor told ten tall tales to Titania the titmouse"?

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum was well worth the price of a couple of bagels.
I'm giving this classic comedy musical a solid thumbs up, baby.

I'm William Snyder, the author of The Eight-Fingered Criminal's Son, a collection of mostly true stories about growing up in1970s Southern California. It'll make you laugh.
You can purchase the book at your local book store or order a copy by clicking on the link below. Go ahead, laugh a little...
http://www.amazon.com/The-Eight-Fingered-Criminals-William-Snyder/dp/1468142585/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1334182364&sr=8-1-fkmr0

A FACE IN THE CROWD

BILL AND WAYNE'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURES IN THE QUIRKY WORLD OF FILM

Big Wayne and I met recently for another quirky adventure in the world of film. I brought the bacon, egg and Tabasco bagels and he provided the movie. After watching this absolute gem, I’ll never doubt the big man’s recommendations. It's hard believe this movie has been around so long and I missed it. Big Wayne also known as The Hoosier Daddy, is now my own personal Mr. Movie Miyagi. I don’t make a movie move without asking Big Wayne.


The movie?


I’m talking about the 1957 classic, A Face in the Crowd, directed by Elia Kazan and starring Andy Griffith. While I’ve been a fan of Kazan’s work on East of Eden, On the Waterfront and Viva Zapata, I’d only known Griffith as Barny Fife’s sidekick, Sherriff Andy Taylor on The Andy Griffith Show. Don’t get me wrong, Griffith was very good as the iconic more wholesome than white bread sheriff. I always figured he was pretty much being himself; I had no idea the man could act. From the moment he appeared on screen, Griffith was nothing short of mesmerizing. I’m telling you, I couldn’t take my eyes off of the guy - I couldn’t wait to see what he was going to do next.


Griffith portrays Lonesome Rhodes, a guitar picking drifter who is discovered by a radio hostess (Patricia Neal). America falls in love with Rhodes’ countrified wisdom and guitar picking, propelling him to stardom. Rhodes starts out speaking the truth, fighting the man but due to his addictive personality he becomes the man. I should point out that Griffith’s bluesy singing and guitar playing is very good, edgy – real edgy.

Patrica Neal, Walter Mathaw, Tony Franciosca and Lee Remick make up a supporting cast that is nothing to sneeze at.

Great movie. One of the best I’ve seen. If you haven’t already seen it, watch the darned thing. If you have already seen it, maby you ought to watch it again You won’t be disappointed. Big Wayne knows his movies.

ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST

Bill and Wayne's Excellent Adventures in the World of Film

Bill and Wayne’s latest adventure in the quirky world of movies involved sausage, egg and Tabasco bagels and a classic spaghetti western called Once Upon a Time in the West. Not only was the old flick a little bit quirky, it was a little bit kooky, strange and a lot dark and spooky.

Sergio Leone, a man whose name is synonymous with spaghetti westerns, is responsible for this masterpiece. Filmed in Spain and Utah, there is a hellish feel to the experience. Everything is filthy, dusty, dry and dilapidated. The flaming sun constantly beats down on the ghostly characters.

Leone toys with time, slowing everything down to a fiendish snail’s pace. The opening scene is a movie in itself as Leone spends what seems like hours focusing on a fly on Jack Elam’s head and water dripping insipidly on Woody Strode’s head. And it’s captivating. Alfred Hitchcock said there is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation. Leone is down with Hitchcock’s concept. The film is 999 percent anticipation and .001 percent bang. Hope my math is right there. But the bangs are pretty damned explosive.

Henry Fonda, the blue eyed iconic all American actor, is evil personified. Seeing Fonda cross over to the dark side is shocking and down right scary. Charles Bronson is magnificent (sorry, couldn’t help the cheap allusion) as the revenge bent gunfighter who speaks through a harmonica. Jason Robards plays it cool as a sometimes good, sometimes bad gunfighter. He delivers this line of the movie to the smoking hot damsel in distress, played by Claudia Cardinale: “You remind me of my mother; she was a whore…”

I’ve heard great things about this old standard over the years and I can’t believe it eluded me for so many years. Now that I’ve seen it I can comfortably say baby, the emperor is fully clothed.

Once Upon a Time in the West gets two thumbs up, five stars, and a full tub of quirky flavored popcorn.

Artist's rendering of Bill and Wayne