Chandler Whiskerino Beard Growing and News on the THE EIGHT-FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON

Here is the latest shot of the Sun Lakes Pest Control Chandler Whiskerino Beard Growing Team.  Not only are Bobby and Dickey growing fantastic beards, but they're also getting really good at looking, mean, dangerous and maybe a little crazy.

I'm not exactly growing an impressive beard, but I am to develop a pretty realistic bum look. Last week there was free cake in the faculty room at the high school where I teach. I wandered out to the benches where the students were eating lunch, still muching on my king

sized slice of cake. One on the security guards wandered over.

"Oh, it's you, Snyder," he said, "We were watching on the security cam and we thought you were some homeless guy that wandered on from off campus and was eating the food from the students' tables."

Yeah, the contest ends May 19th, which is the same day I'll be doing the first EIGHT FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON book signing at CHANDLER AUTO AND TIRE. DICKEY "TOM JONES"IMBURGIA  will be performing. We'll be offering an unbelievable book and a hotdog deal as well as a once in a lifetime book and a tune-up deal.

Stay posted for details.

The book available in print and e-book form at the link below.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Eight-Fingered-Criminals-William-Snyder/dp/1468142585/ref=tmm_pap_title_0

ERIN AND LES ROACH'S KIDS TO SELL THE EIGHT-FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON AT CHICAGO LEMONADE STAND

It feels pretty good to hold a copy of of my book in my hand. I've been carrying it around since it arrived in the mail two days ago. Okay, I admit it, I've been sleeping with the book under my pillow.

It's time to create some book buzz and do some guerrilla marketing. I guess I could rent a gorilla suit and switch things up with some gorilla marketing.

Les Roach of Chicago offered to have his kids set up a book and lemonade stand in his neighborhood. I accepted. So look for the book and lemonade stand if you live in Chi-Town. I think I'll have the crew in the picture above try the same thing here in Arizona.

In case you have trouble finding the book and lemonade stands in Chicago and Arizona you can purchase the print version of THE EIGHT-FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON  by clicking on this link:   https://www.createspace.com/3746672

I'll keep you folks posted on the book sales progress. Thanks to those who read the book and extra thanks to those  who posted reviews on Amazon.com.  If you read the book and liked it, let someone know, will  ya?
And please let me know if any of you have any cheese whiz book marketing ideas.

The Chandler Arizona Centennial Whiskerino Contest, Griggits and THE EIGHT-FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON

This is a Griggit. I created him. Creating Griggits has failed to yield me one red cent. Maybe some day...

The majority of my free time has recently been spent grading 150 five-page research papers and babbling incoherently to myself about the iniquities of banks and oil companies.

The most interesting thing that has recently happened to me involves the crop of hair that I have been cultivating on the lower half of my face. Me beard growing team is just about a fifth of the way though the 100 day Chandler, Arizona Centennial Whiskerino Contest. My beard is feeling a bit scratchy and looking a lot scruffy. As a matter of fact, earlier this week I was standing in front of the local supermarket with an empty coffee cup in  my hand when a passer by dropped ten bucks in my cup and said, "Here you go, pal. Go get yourself a shower and something to eat."

In case your new to this blog, I am promoting my new book THE EIGHT -FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON, a quirky collection of mostly true stories about growing up in 1970s Southern California. You can download the e-book for a measly 5 bucks at http://www.amazon.com/The-Eight-Fingered-Criminals-Son-ebook/dp/B005NWH8L4/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top/185-4488470-4163824
The bound version will be available sometime before 2040.

Why are oil companies charging so much for gas?
Because they can.

CHANDLER ARIZONA'S CENTENIAL WHISKERINO CONTEST, THE SUN LAKES PEST CONTROL BEARD GROWING TEAM and THE EIGHT-FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON

Ladies and germs, I give you the Sun Lakes Pest Control Beard Growing Team. From left to right is Dickie "Tom Jones" Imburgia, yours truly, and Bobby. I don't know Bobby's last name but he has a big motorcycle in his garage. Bobby's hog adds greatly to the macho appeal of Team Sun Lakes Pest Control. As I stated in an earlier post, my two team mates are of the Italian persuasion, making me the obvious weak link. Rest assured, I'll make up for any facial follicle short fall with good old fashioned grit and - chutzpa.

The Whiskerino Beard Growing Contest is part of the Chandler, Arizona Centennial Celebration. The duration of the contest is 100 days. I believe today is day 6.

I hope to use the Whiskerino contest to market my book THE EIGHT-FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON. By the way, I just okayed the final mock-up and the bound version should be ready any day. The book will be available at THE BOOK FROG in Palos Verdes, California, CHANDLER AUTO AND TIRE REPAIR in Chandler,  Arizona and on Amazon.com.
The e-book is available for 5 measly bucks at http://www.amazon.com/The-Eight-Fingered-Criminals-Son-ebook/dp/B005NWH8L4

GEORGE CLOONEY and THE EIGHT-FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON

The mock-up of the entire text has been approved. Now I'm waiting for a mock-up of the physical book. We're on track to have bound copies of THE EIGHT FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON available at a few California and Arizona bookstores, AMAZON.COM and CHANDLER AUTO AND TIRE REPAIR in March.

As far as I know, George Clooney has not read The Eight-Fingered Criminal's Son and has absolutely nothing to do with the book. However, Rick Moranis is following me on Twitter and there is a possibility that he has read the book. Okay, it's a minute posibility, but I'll take all the hope I can get...

The e-book can be dowloaded for a measly 5 bucks at
http://www.amazon.com/The-Eight-Fingered-Criminals-Son-ebook/dp/B005NWH8L4/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1326594616&sr=1-1

RICK MORANIS AND THE EIGHT-FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON

We have hired Create Space to print The Eight-Fingered Criminal's Son. Create Space is in possession of the text and they are rocketing along at the speed of a hungover snail to facilitate the release of the physical, non e-book version.


In the mean time, I set up a Twitter account in order to promote the book. I haven't exactly figured out how to use Twitter, but I do have 15 followers. Interestingly enough, and I am not kidding, I'm pretty sure Rick Moranis is one of my 15 followers. If Rick Moranis is following me, I'm thinking I just might have myself a fist full of marketing dynamite. If I can get Rick "Ghostbusters" Moranis to read The Eight-Fingered Criminal's Son and he likes the book, good golly Miss Molly, this thing is on. I could sell, I don't know, 130 - maybe 140 books.

You can follow my rather confused Twitter campaign that seems to include Rick "Honey I Shrunk the Kids" Moranis by clicking  https://twitter.com/#!/GriggitSnyder

If you know someone who recieved a new Kindle for Christmas, please tell them about The Eight-Fingered Criminal's Son. The book can be downloaded for a measly 5 bucks by clicking on http://www.amazon.com/The-Eight-Fingered-Criminals-Son-ebook/dp/B005NWH8L4

The Latest scoop on THE EIGHT FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON and THE MIAMI HEAT

Here's a shot, taken in 1985, of yours tryly with the eight-fingered criminal himself, William "Cash" Snyder.
Over 100 e-books have been downloaded from Amazon.com. My goal was 100 so I'm calling this book making venture a success.

The cover design is finished and the text has been formatted for the printer. I've been told the print version will be ready to rock in 2 to 3 months.

For starters, the print version will be available on Amazon.com, The Book Frog in L.A., and Chandler Auto and Tire Repair. Selling the book at an auto and tire repair shop is supposed to be funny.

Thank you to all who have downloaded the e-book and I'll keep you posted on the release date for the dead tree version.

You can download the e-book for a measly 5 bucks by clicking on the link below.
http://www.amazon.com/The-Eight-Fingered-Criminals-Son-ebook/dp/B005NWH8L4
Happy New Year
And the Miami Heat have absolutely nothing to do with The Eight-Fingered Criminal's Son.

THE EIGHT-FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON - The First Royalty Check

The e-book verison of The Eight-Fingered Criminal's Son is  moving quite nicely on Amazon.com. The first Royalty check arrived in the mail recently. I suppose this is a milestone of sorts. Thanks to all who purchased the e-book. The bound version is in the works. One thing of learned about this book business is making an e-book is a lot easier and a lot faster than making a physical book.

Did you hear about the depressed elf?
He had low elf esteem.

Merry Christmas

The-Eight Fingered Criminal's Son - The Cover Design

The long and painful search for a good graphic designer is finallyover. Here is the first cover cover proof.  We're still tweaking the design and playing with the colors. It's been a long process, but I'd rather have this project done right than done fast. God willin'and the creek don't rise, the cover design will be finished  and we'll give the printer the go ahead this week.

A Christmas Comic, News on THE-EIGHT-FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON, and a Christmas Joke

It's that time of year again. I posted this comic last year, but what the heck, maybe it will be funny this time around.

Did I mention that I wrote a  book called The Eight-Fingered Criminal's Son? You can download the e-book by clicking on this link: http://www.amazon.com/The-Eight-Fingered-Criminals-Son-ebook/dp/B005NWH8L4
I should have some news on the print version soon.

A Christmas joke: Did you hear that Scrooge's team won the football game? Yeah, the Ghost of Chritmas passed.

Lee Harvey Oswald - An Exerpt From THE EIGHT-FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON

An exerpt from The Eight Fingered Criminal's Son
“LeAe Harvey Oswald (1963)"
by William Snyder
© 2006 William Snyder


It was 1963 and I was in a Sears’ department store elevator with my grandmother. The doors slid silently open. An enormous black woman filled the doorway. Her face was soaked with tears. “They killed Kennedy!” I looked up to my grandmother and she was crying too. Scanning the towering occupants of the elevator, I could see that they were all weeping and things seemed out of control. Although I hadn’t the slightest understanding of what was happening, I was scared to death.

My memory jump cuts to the dinner table at my grandparents’ home. We were having Jell-O. Tiny chunks of pears, peaches and bananas bounced around inside the cubes. My grandfather, who had been eating in silence, suddenly slammed his great lumberman’s fist on the table, “Goddamit! I knew they’d never let a Catholic run this country!” My Jell-O reverberated wildly in the glass bowl. On the wall behind my grandfather hung a picture of JFK and another of the blonde, blue-eyed surfer version of Jesus Christ.


My memory jump cuts again. Sitting with my my legs crossed, Indian style on the giant oval rug in front of my grandparents’ black and white television set, I watch a scene that I have already carefully observed at least a dozen times. Lee Harvey Oswald’s hands are cuffed as he rounds the corner in the underground parking structure. Dwarfed by giant gray men in cowboy hats, he wears a five o’clock shadow and looks like one if the guys who work on their cars behind my apartment building. I hate him because he is the man who killed the Catholic president. A man appears from nowhere, his broad back to the camera. I know that his name is Jack Ruby. He bum-rushes Oswald as the towering cowboy policemen stand by - useless. There is the muffled sound of gunshots. Oswald’s face looks almost funny. His eyes are shut and he looks as though he is trying very hard to whistle.

This incredibly chaotic, enigmatic scene is cemented into the foundations of the husband, father, and teacher I have since become.

The Eight Fingered Criminal's Son News

The print version of The Eight-Fingered Criminal's Son is in the works. While the book will be available at amazon.com, you can pick up a copy in person at Chandler Auto and Tire. I'm working with the friendly and efficient folks at Chandler Auto and Tire to put together a book and a tune-up deal. Owner Brett "Big Cat White" has even agreed to chain a copy of The Eight-Fingered Criminal's Son next to the commode. The first reading and book signing will be hosted by those mechanical wizards at Chandler and Tire. Big Cat says there will be plenty of stale donuts and bad coffee for all who attend.




You can download the ebook version of The Eight-Fingered Criminal's Son for a measley 5 bucks by clicking on the link below.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Eight-Fingered-Criminals-Son-ebook/dp/B005NWH8L4

THE EIGHT FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON - Rigmarole Over the Title...

It seems there has been some confusion about the title of my new book, The Eight Fingered Criminal's Son.

First of all, I am the eight fingered criminal's son. Furthermore  my old man did more than his share of time in the big house and he parted ways with two of his fingers, making him the eight fingered criminal

More than a few people have voiced their displeasure with the title."Doesn't everybody have eight fingers, eight fingers and two thumbs?"

"Did the guy have eight fingers on one hand?"

Yeah, I thought about the title's potential confusion. I guess I could have gone with one of the following alterate titles...

The Son of the Criminal Who was Missing Two Fingers

The Eight-Phalanged Criminal's Son

The Eight-Digited Convict's Kid

The Offspring of  a Convicted Felon with Six Fingers and Two Thumbs

The Menace to Society with Two Hacked Off Fingers' Son

See what I mean. I think I'll stick with The Eight-Fingered Criminal's Son.

The collection of short stories is available as an ebook on Amazon.com. You can download The Eight-Criminal's Son for a measly five bucks by clicking the link below.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Eight-Fingered-Criminals-Son-ebook/dp/B005NWH8L4

The bound version of The Eight-Fingered Criminal's Son will be available on Amazon.com and Chandler Auto and Tire in Chandler, Arizona soon.

Billy Bob Thorton and The Eight-Fingered Criminal's Son's Goofball Book Promomotional Campaign, Phase Two

Ladies and germs, it is my peasure present phase two of my goofball promototion of The Eight-Fingered Son.
My thanks go out to Ian "Tig" Welsh, Brady "Cat" White, Dickie "Tom Jones" Imbugia, and Wayne "The Geege" Mossbarger.

THE SECOND REVIEW OF THE EIGHT-FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON ON AMAZON.COM

The following review was posted to Amazon.com by Paul Skolnick.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book, and I'm hoping Bill will in the future fill in some of the chronological gaps with even more anecdotes. I'm NOT mentioned, and don't even know the author. But his descriptions and stories sure brought back my own memories of that time and a place about 10 miles to the east of Hawthorne.


Much Appreciated, Paul.

You can download the book by clicking on the link below. You don't need a Kindle to read. There is a free and easy app on the Amazon page. The app will allow you to read the book on any phone, computer or pad.
http://www.amazon.com/The-Eight-Fingered-Criminals-Son-ebook/dp/B005NWH8L4
 
Thanks to Midlife Job Hunter for the first of my blogger friends to download!

I'm Baaaaack.