Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
WILLIAM Z. SNYDER STICKS IT TO THE MAN - Part 1
For too many years I’ve been supporting the sociopathic corporations of the world by bringing my haircut business to the Supercuts conveniently located less than a mile from my home.
Not anymore, brother.
I’m sticking it to the man, baby.
It all started when I drove down to the local Supercuts for a quick buzz job last Sunday afternoon. Stepping through the door I was not greeted by a swooshy thirty-something hair stylist hairstylist with a whole lot of eye makeup and a half-dozen pieces of metal sticking out of his face. Three hairstylists were snipping away on their customers. Mister second rate Marilyn Manson finished sweeping up a pile of hair before casually strutting up to the counter.
“Can I help you?” he said, avoiding any semblance of eye contact and making it clear that helping me was the last thing he wanted to do.
“Can I get a tuna fish sandwich?”
This is my stock line for the ever changing array Supercuts employees who consistently ask me that ridiculous question.
“Right. We’re closed. We close at three, I’m sorry.
“Right,” I said turning and heading back to the car.
I really didn’t want that guy cutting my hair anyway. Inside the car, I turned the ignition key and the clock read 2:58. That’s when it hit me. It was time to find a new joint to cut my hair. Over the thirteen years I’d been frequenting the corner Supercuts, I’d received a few bad haircuts and a lot of mediocre haircuts, but they had only cut my hair the way I wanted twice. I usually shrugged and reminded myself that the difference between a bad haircut and a good haircut is about two weeks.
2:58.
I was tired of being pushed around by soulless corporations. Soulless corporations wear different faces too. On this particular day they wore the face of a thirty five year-old weirdo with eye makeup and a whole mess of metal stuck too his face who didn’t even bother to give up a courtesy laugh for my tuna fish sandwich line.
To be continued…
Not anymore, brother.
I’m sticking it to the man, baby.
It all started when I drove down to the local Supercuts for a quick buzz job last Sunday afternoon. Stepping through the door I was not greeted by a swooshy thirty-something hair stylist hairstylist with a whole lot of eye makeup and a half-dozen pieces of metal sticking out of his face. Three hairstylists were snipping away on their customers. Mister second rate Marilyn Manson finished sweeping up a pile of hair before casually strutting up to the counter.
“Can I help you?” he said, avoiding any semblance of eye contact and making it clear that helping me was the last thing he wanted to do.
“Can I get a tuna fish sandwich?”
This is my stock line for the ever changing array Supercuts employees who consistently ask me that ridiculous question.
“Right. We’re closed. We close at three, I’m sorry.
“Right,” I said turning and heading back to the car.
I really didn’t want that guy cutting my hair anyway. Inside the car, I turned the ignition key and the clock read 2:58. That’s when it hit me. It was time to find a new joint to cut my hair. Over the thirteen years I’d been frequenting the corner Supercuts, I’d received a few bad haircuts and a lot of mediocre haircuts, but they had only cut my hair the way I wanted twice. I usually shrugged and reminded myself that the difference between a bad haircut and a good haircut is about two weeks.
2:58.
I was tired of being pushed around by soulless corporations. Soulless corporations wear different faces too. On this particular day they wore the face of a thirty five year-old weirdo with eye makeup and a whole mess of metal stuck too his face who didn’t even bother to give up a courtesy laugh for my tuna fish sandwich line.
To be continued…
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Snyder Comics/Soaring Swine #24
WHO AMONGST US HAS NOT ASKED THIS PRESSING HISTORICAL QUESTION?
Bad Joke of the week:
What kind of hot dogs should be eaten on Halloween?
Halloweenies
I stole this bad joke from an episode of Happy Days.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Griggits
Friday, October 15, 2010
CRAPULOUS
Today’s secret word is crapulous. I came across the word while reading George Bernard Shaw’s introduction to his 1924 play, Saint Joan.
Shaw writes about Joan’s execution stating “… this result could have been produced by a crapulous inferiority as well as by a sublime superiority, the question of which of the two was operative in Joan’s case has to be faced.”
Crapulous. Nifty word, huh. And I can’t say I can recall crossing paths with crapulous. Initially I thought it was somehow connected to Thomas Crapper of flushing toilet fame. If I had had paid attention to my instruction on Greek roots, I would have known the word is a descendent of “kraipalē,” meaning the giddiness and headache caused by drinking wine to excess.
To the point, our secret word of the day may defined as surcharged with liquor; alcoholism; sick from excessive indulgence in drinking or eating; drunk; given to excesses.
Shaw writes about Joan’s execution stating “… this result could have been produced by a crapulous inferiority as well as by a sublime superiority, the question of which of the two was operative in Joan’s case has to be faced.”
Crapulous. Nifty word, huh. And I can’t say I can recall crossing paths with crapulous. Initially I thought it was somehow connected to Thomas Crapper of flushing toilet fame. If I had had paid attention to my instruction on Greek roots, I would have known the word is a descendent of “kraipalē,” meaning the giddiness and headache caused by drinking wine to excess.
To the point, our secret word of the day may defined as surcharged with liquor; alcoholism; sick from excessive indulgence in drinking or eating; drunk; given to excesses.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Soaring Swine #23 and the Latest News on THE EIGHT FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON
Snyder Comics
The bad news is the release date is going to be pushed back a couple of months. This is due to the fact that I used my book dough to put a rebuilt transmission for my car. The good news is the guys at Chandler Auto and Tire have agreed to hawk my book. This brings the grand total of venues prepared to carry The Eight Fingered Criminal's Son to six.
Chandler Auto and Tire - Chandler, Arizona
Tempe Auto Repair - Tempe, Arizona
Second Use Building Materials - Seattle, Washington
Island Style Kitchen Design - Maui, Hawaii
Lakeside Sporting Goods - Beaver Island, Michigan
Geli Books - Bangkok, Thailand
Chandler Auto and Tire - Chandler, Arizona
Tempe Auto Repair - Tempe, Arizona
Second Use Building Materials - Seattle, Washington
Island Style Kitchen Design - Maui, Hawaii
Lakeside Sporting Goods - Beaver Island, Michigan
Geli Books - Bangkok, Thailand
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Sunday, September 19, 2010
wheN piGs flY #21
snydertOOns 2010
I haven't had much time to work on the book. Teaching is hard. I've been busting my tail to keep ahead. Some teachers bust their tails to keep a foot, or an arm or a neck, but not me.
The editing process is under way and I'm meeting with a graphic designer to discuss the cover this week.
The Eight Fingered Criminal's Son is on schedule to be released in November. The book will be available at the auto repair shop in Arizona, the lake sports store in Michigan, the kitchen design studio in Hawaii, the junk yard in Washington, and that book store in Thailand.
Bad Joke of the Week
A sasquatch was pulling his son in a sled across the Himilayas. After three hours the boy said to his father, "Are we there, Yeti?"
Sunday, September 12, 2010
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum.
BILL AND WAYNE'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURES IN THE QUIRKY WORLD OF FILM
I don’t know about you folks, but I’m less than impressed with the modern day movie theater experience. The product is hardly worth the ten bucks admission. As for the theatergoers, forget it. Babies cry, children run, an insipid galaxy of blinking cell phones lit up by text messengers destroys all semblance of concentration, people hold conversations with each other or talk on their cell phones.
“Hello. Yeah, I’m at the movies. What’s up?”
Nincompoops.
I’ll steer clear of movie theaters whenever possible, thank you. I’ll stick with the dollar movie rentals in the red box at the grocery store. Better yet, I’ll pick up a couple of bagels head over to Big Wayne’s house for a Saturday morning quirky classic matinee.
Wayne and I recently enjoyed the 1966 comedy musical, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, staring comedic geniuses Zero Mostel, Phil Silvers, Jack Gilford and Buster Keaton. You might remember Jack Gilford as the guy from the Cracker Jacks commercials – if an ARP card and Buster Keaton for his silent film comedies – if you’re a ghost. This was Buster Keaton’s last film role. Based on the Broadway musical, set in ancient room and shot somewhere in Spain, the film provides an endless array of one-liners, running gags, pratfalls, and gorgeous women.
Wayne and I laughed out loud – a lot.
Here are a few of my favorite lines:
“For us there will never be happiness.”
“Then we must learn to be happy without it.”
“Was one a good year for wine?”
“Oh, her bridal bower becomes a burial bier of bitter bereavement!"
“Very good! Can you say "Titus the tailor told ten tall tales to Titania the titmouse"?
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum was well worth the price of a couple of bagels.
I'm giving this classic comedy musical a solid thumbs up, baby.
I'm William Snyder, the author of The Eight-Fingered Criminal's Son, a collection of mostly true stories about growing up in1970s Southern California. It'll make you laugh.
You can purchase the book at your local book store or order a copy by clicking on the link below. Go ahead, laugh a little...
http://www.amazon.com/The-Eight-Fingered-Criminals-William-Snyder/dp/1468142585/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1334182364&sr=8-1-fkmr0
Sunday, September 5, 2010
wHen piGs flY #20
snYdertooNs 2010
THE LATEST NEWS ON THE EIGHT FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON, A KOOKY COLLECTION OF QUIRKY STORIES, WRITTEN BY YOURS TRULY
The book is scheduled to release in November and will be available at the following venues:
Tempe Auto Repair, Tempe, Arizona,
Island Style Kitchen Designs, Haiku, Hawaii,
Second Use Building Supplies, Seattle Washington
Island Sports, Beaver Island, Michigan
GELI Book Store, Bangkok, Thailand
The book is scheduled to release in November and will be available at the following venues:
Tempe Auto Repair, Tempe, Arizona,
Island Style Kitchen Designs, Haiku, Hawaii,
Second Use Building Supplies, Seattle Washington
Island Sports, Beaver Island, Michigan
GELI Book Store, Bangkok, Thailand
Saturday, August 21, 2010
EIGHT FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON Update and snYdertoOns #19
snYdertoOns
The Eight Fingered Criminal's Son will be available for purchase in November at the following venues:
Lakeside Sports on Beaver Island, Michigan http://www.beaverisland.org/lakesports/index.html
Island Style Kitchen Designs on Mauii, Hawaii http://www.islandstyledesigns.com/
Tempe Auto Repair in Tempe, Arizona http://www.tempeautorepair.com/
GELI Book Store in Bangkok, Thailand
Second Use Building Materials in Seattle, Washington. http://www.seconduse.com/
The book will also be available for purchase from this site.
Tim Anderson of Second Use Building Supply in Seattle Washington asked me to clarify a couple of things.
First of all, Anderson is six feet eight inches tall, not six feet ten inches tall. Second, he does not lead the Seattle recreational league in penalty minutes - those guys are idiots. This doesn't mean, Anderson asked me to point out, that there won't be severe ramifications for anyone who tries the swipe the chained copy of The Eight Fingered Criminal's Son from the commode.
Lastly, I'd like to send out a heart felt thank you to Israel Carrasco out in Anaheim, California. Isreal, a talented comedy writer and up and coming stand up comedian, was kind enough to plug The Eight Finegered Criminal's Son on his blog.
http://israelcarrascojokes.blogspot.com/
The Eight Fingered Criminal's Son will be available for purchase in November at the following venues:
Lakeside Sports on Beaver Island, Michigan http://www.beaverisland.org/lakesports/index.html
Island Style Kitchen Designs on Mauii, Hawaii http://www.islandstyledesigns.com/
Tempe Auto Repair in Tempe, Arizona http://www.tempeautorepair.com/
GELI Book Store in Bangkok, Thailand
Second Use Building Materials in Seattle, Washington. http://www.seconduse.com/
The book will also be available for purchase from this site.
Tim Anderson of Second Use Building Supply in Seattle Washington asked me to clarify a couple of things.
First of all, Anderson is six feet eight inches tall, not six feet ten inches tall. Second, he does not lead the Seattle recreational league in penalty minutes - those guys are idiots. This doesn't mean, Anderson asked me to point out, that there won't be severe ramifications for anyone who tries the swipe the chained copy of The Eight Fingered Criminal's Son from the commode.
Lastly, I'd like to send out a heart felt thank you to Israel Carrasco out in Anaheim, California. Isreal, a talented comedy writer and up and coming stand up comedian, was kind enough to plug The Eight Finegered Criminal's Son on his blog.
http://israelcarrascojokes.blogspot.com/
Sunday, August 15, 2010
SELF PUBLISHING ON 800 BUCKS
THE EIGHT FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON PICKS UP VENDOR NUMBER FIVE!
This just in: Tim Anderson of Second Use Building Materials in Seattle, Washington has agreed to carry my new book, The Eight Fingered Criminal's Son, a kooky collection of quirky stories based on true events. In addition, Big Tim came up with the brilliant marketing strategy of chaining a copy of my new book next to the commode. The boys at Tempe Auto Repair have agreed to follow suit with chained this whole copy of the book in can idea.
Folks, this thing is taking off.
As a side line, Tim Anderson is a six foot ten inch defenseman in the Seattle Recreational Hockey League. Anderson is most proud of the fact that he leads the league in penalty minutes. So don't even think about stealing he copy from his john.
The Eight Fingered Criminal's Son will be available for purchase in November at the following venues:
Lakeside Sports on Beaver Island, Michigan
http://www.beaverisland.org/lakesports/index.html
Island Style Kitchen Designs on Mauii, Hawaii
http://www.islandstyledesigns.com/
Tempe Auto Repair in Tempe, Arizona
http://www.tempeautorepair.com/
GELI Book Store in Bangkok, Thailand
Second Use Building Materials in Seattle, Washington.
http://www.seconduse.com/
And just in case you won't be in Tempe, Seattle, Michigan, Hawaii ot Bangkok in the near future, The Eight Fingered Criminal's Son will be available at this site.
Above is a rendition, sketched by your's truly, of a scene from Dart Safety and the Purple Bikini, one of the stories in The Eight Fingered Criminal's Son.
Watch Tom Jones in the latest promotional video here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5S4Jcl_iRw&feature=player_embedded
This just in: Tim Anderson of Second Use Building Materials in Seattle, Washington has agreed to carry my new book, The Eight Fingered Criminal's Son, a kooky collection of quirky stories based on true events. In addition, Big Tim came up with the brilliant marketing strategy of chaining a copy of my new book next to the commode. The boys at Tempe Auto Repair have agreed to follow suit with chained this whole copy of the book in can idea.
Folks, this thing is taking off.
As a side line, Tim Anderson is a six foot ten inch defenseman in the Seattle Recreational Hockey League. Anderson is most proud of the fact that he leads the league in penalty minutes. So don't even think about stealing he copy from his john.
The Eight Fingered Criminal's Son will be available for purchase in November at the following venues:
Lakeside Sports on Beaver Island, Michigan
http://www.beaverisland.org/lakesports/index.html
Island Style Kitchen Designs on Mauii, Hawaii
http://www.islandstyledesigns.com/
Tempe Auto Repair in Tempe, Arizona
http://www.tempeautorepair.com/
GELI Book Store in Bangkok, Thailand
Second Use Building Materials in Seattle, Washington.
http://www.seconduse.com/
And just in case you won't be in Tempe, Seattle, Michigan, Hawaii ot Bangkok in the near future, The Eight Fingered Criminal's Son will be available at this site.
Watch Tom Jones in the latest promotional video here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5S4Jcl_iRw&feature=player_embedded
Saturday, August 7, 2010
wheN piGs flY #18 and The Latest News on THE EIGHT FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON
snYdertOOns
THE EIGHT FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON will be available for purchase at this site or at GELI Book Store in Bangkok, Thailand and Tempe Auto Repair in Tempe, Arizona in November. We'll be announcing two new venues this week and promotional video number three is in the works. Stay tuned for more information...
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
THE LATEST PROMOTIONAL VIDEO FOR THE EIGHT FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON
THE EIGHT FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON WILL BE AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE AT THIS BLOG, THAT BOOK STORE IN THAILAND AND TEMPE AUTOMOTIVE REPAIR IN TEMPE, ARIZONA THIS NOVEMBER!
Sunday, August 1, 2010
1984 Griggit Cartoon,the Latest News on THE EIGHT FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON and Tom Jones
This cartoon, drawn by yours truly, appeared in the Los Angeles Easy Reader in 1984.
THE EIGHT FINGERED CRIMINALS SON NEWS
The book is scheduled to come out in early November.
In addition to GELI Book Store in Bangkok, Thailand, the Eight Fingered Criminal's Son will be available at Tempe Auto Repair in Tempe, Arizona. Sure selling a book at an auto repair shop is a weird idea, but it just might be weird enough to work - darn it.
A second book promo starring music legend, Tom Jones is in the capable hands of editor extraordinaire, Brady "Cat" White. I should have it up on Blogger, YouTube, and Face Book tomorrow.
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