AMAZON REVIEWS FOR THE EIGHT FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON #3

This review was posted earlier this week on Amazon.com.

"In 1959 a comedy writer by the name of Jack Douglas wrote a book entitled 'My Brother Was An Only Child'. My sense of humor gravitated to that book. The Eight Fingered Criminal's Son is more gravitational. You cannot help but smile and be sad at the true life glimpses of a man's early life. It conjures up memories in our own lives."
Wayne Mossbarger

Here are the latese Amazon Stats.
Ebook sales: 43
Amazon Best Seller Rank: 13,246

Thank you to fellow blogger, Miflife Job Hunter for purchasing a copy.

You can download a copy of THE EIGHT-FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON by clicking on the link below. The book costs a measly 5 bucks and you don't need a Kindle. There is a free and easy to download app that will allow you to read the book on any phone, computer or pad.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Eight-Fingered-Criminals-Son-ebook/dp/B005NWH8L4/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

Embrace the Chaos! Read THE EIGHT-FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON.

THE SECOND REVIEW OF THE EIGHT-FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON ON AMAZON.COM

The following review was posted to Amazon.com by Paul Skolnick.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book, and I'm hoping Bill will in the future fill in some of the chronological gaps with even more anecdotes. I'm NOT mentioned, and don't even know the author. But his descriptions and stories sure brought back my own memories of that time and a place about 10 miles to the east of Hawthorne.


Much Appreciated, Paul.

You can download the book by clicking on the link below. You don't need a Kindle to read. There is a free and easy app on the Amazon page. The app will allow you to read the book on any phone, computer or pad.
http://www.amazon.com/The-Eight-Fingered-Criminals-Son-ebook/dp/B005NWH8L4
 
Thanks to Midlife Job Hunter for the first of my blogger friends to download!

The First Review of The Eight Fingered Criminal's Son

Here is the first Amazon review, written by Bryan Frank.

"Not just funny, but laugh-out-loud funny, insightful and touching. The life of William R. (Buzz) Snyder growing up in the City of Hawthorne, California is perfect in its' honesty and heart.


Buy it and read it and tell everyone you know about it. That way, when the movie comes out and Buzz is getting the Academy Award for best screenplay, he might mention your name like he sure as heck better remember to mention mine.

Yeah, that's me listed in the dedication. Doesn't mean what I'm saying isn't true."


http://www.amazon.com/The-Eight-Fingered-Criminals-Son-ebook/dp/B005NWH8L4/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1316398752&sr=1-1

You can download the book at Amazon by clicking on the funky configuration  above. You can read the book without a Kindell. Just download the free Kindell app at Amazon.com/

THE EIGHT FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON IS AVAILABLE FOR FIVE BUCKS ON AMAZON

http://www.amazon.com/The-Eight-Fingered-Criminals-Son-ebook/dp/B005NWH8L4/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1316374255&sr=1-1

You can purchase the collection of stories on Amazon for five bucks by clicking on the funky looking link above. It's only available as an E-Book at this time. The bound version is coming. I will keep you posted folks...

I'm Baaaaack.

Taking a Break

It's time for me to take a break from blogging. 
I'll be back when I have something relevant to say...

Here's a bad joke to hold you over...

WHERE DO YOU TAKE OLD VOLKSWAGENS?
TO THE OLD VOLKS HOME...

A CHARLIE SHEEN JOKE

BAD JOKE OF THE WEEK:
How much drugs and alcohol did Charlie Sheen Consume?
Enough to kill Two and a Half Men...

MORE CHARLIE SHEEN - hAm oN Sky #29

It's worth metioning that a Nike factory worker makes something like 40 dollars a week. It would take him 31 years to make what I earn in one year. It would take him 27,500 years to earn what Sheen pulled in for filming  one year of Two and a Half Men.

CHARLIE SHEEN - wHEN SwINE SOaR #28

I know. It's an old bit.  And it's corny too Can't help it. I like corny old jokes.

One on my students ran the following little ditty by me this week.
If Mrs. Bigger had a baby, the baby Bigger would be bigger than Mrs. Bigger because it would be a little Bigger.

I can't seem to find a consistent name for my blog cartoons. SNYDER COMICS, SNYDER TOONS, WHEN PIGS FLY, SOARING SWINE and WHEN SWINE SOAR have served as the title at one time or another.

Who says a guy has to have a consistent title for a blog cartoon?

Especially when the gags are as corny as mine.

One more thing. I was recently cut off on the road by shiny black Mercedes with a license plate that read OVRACHVR. What kind of pompous ass drives a shiny black Mercedes with a license plate that reads OVRACHVR? Who is the guy driving this car?

Is it just me?

Come on! 

A considerable percentage of the population is struggling to make ends meet while this jackass is driving around in that car with that license plate,  cutting off people in beat up Chevy vans with busted windshields and doors that don't always open. I gotta say that anything bad that happens to that rat bastard's shiny black Mercedes in the parking lot is his own fault. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying I took a key to that vehicle in question. All I did was blow off a little steam on my blog. But I sure as heck understand why somebody would feel compelled to do some kind of harm to that obnoxious vehicle.  

As for Charlie Sheen. I got nothing to say about that over payed knuckle head. I guess I just said he's an over paid knuckle head, didn't I?

Steam of consciousness much?

I just wanted to see if Charlie Sheen would bring in more hits...

By the way, if you happen to get cut off on the road by some pompous ass in a shiny black Mercedes with plates that read OVRACHVR and you decide to retaliate by hacking up a little phlegm on the windshield or taking a key to the door, I had nothing to do wit it - you're on your own.

OVRACHVR.

Jackass...

GRIGGITS 1985

This panel ran in the South Bay Easy Reader in 1985. That was a long time ago. The cartoon was a bit of a take off on Tina Turner's What's Love Got to Do With It music video.

TRAPPED IN FACULTY MEETING HELL

A few years ago, bored out of my skull, I transcribed a Friday afternoon faculty meeting.
Here here is the most exciting portion of an hour and fifteen minute meeting.

“That’s all I have. Is there anything else?” the boss asks.
Please nobody say anything, I think.


“I have a question about the dress code, Mr. Hammer,” one of the idiots pops off.


“Shoot,” Hammer replies.


Don’t shoot!!! I beg, using my best extra sensory communication.


“Boys aren’t allowed to wear ear rings at the junior high. Is that right?”


“Correct,” Hammer answers in no particular hurry.


“What about safety pins?”


“Safety pins in their ears?”


“That’s right.”


“Well, isn’t that a health issue. It’s not sanitary, is it?” another mindless nincompoop enters the fray.


“I’ve seen students take safety pins from their ears and throw them across the room,” someone else decides to throw in her two cents.


“Now we’re talking about a classroom management issue,” Hammer states very seriously.


“What about paperclips? Are we going to allow the boys to put paper clips in their ears?”


At this point I begin searching the room for the hidden camera. This has got to be some elaborate joke on me and they are all in on it.


Bla, bla, bla, bla.


Superfluous, superfluous, and more superfluous.


My god, how I hate meetings!

WZ SNYDER STICKS IT TO THE VIRUS, STEVE JOBS AND BILL GATES

Last week, a nefarious virus  infested my p.c., making it impossible to open various programs and slowing things down to a crawl. I was ready to purchace a new computer, possibly an Apple. I was considering the Apple switch because friend over at Microsoft said Bill Gates is a mean s.o.b.. Then a fellow blogger pointed out that Steve Jobs is also a mean s.o.b.. Since I didn't want to fork over my hard earned cash to either of those mean sons of bitches, I decided to take one last crack at the nefarious virus. Ladies and germs, I stood toe to toe with that rotten virus, slugging it out for five hours. Quite frankly, I'm not sure what I did. There was downloading, uploading and a heckuva a lot of deleting. And when the smoke cleared, the low down dirty virus had high tailed it out of town.

Final Score:
WZ Snyder 1
Mean Sons of Bitches and that Nefarious Virus 0

As for the cartoon, it has nothing to do with viruses or mean sons of bitches. It's an illustration from my never published children's book, How Larry the Griggit Learned to Fly.

PRESIDENTS DAY - snydeR coMics #27

                                    whEn piGs Fly

Thought I'd do a comic in honor of National Stick Day.

THE COMEDY GUYS AND STICKING IT TO BILL GATES

This picture was in the bottom of my sock drawer. I'm the goofy looking one. We called ourselves The Comedy Guys. I did stand-up comedy with these guys in the eighties. Now we don't care what the temperature is. That was a joke. I think it's pretty funny. The fact that I think this joke is funny is a primary example of why I am no longer performing stand-up comedy.

I'm making this a quick entry because my computer keeps crashing. It's being attacked by a virus. I hate viruses. I'm probably going to need to buy a new one. I'm thinking of buying a an Apple. I hear Apples almost never get viruses. Furthermore, a friend of mine works for Microsoft. He tells me the working conditions are deplorable and Bill Gates is mean s.o.b..

I hate viruses and I'm not exactly happy with Bill Gates.

If I buy an Apple, I can stick to the man. I can stick it to Bill Gates. Make no mistake, Bill Gates is the man. I like to stick it to the man. Yeah, this one's for my buddy and his colleagues at Microsoft!

But wait. What if I start a trend? What if eveyone buys Apples because they never get viruses and Bill Gates is a mean s.o.b.? Won't my buddy lose his job? What if Steve Jobs is mean s.o.b. too? Life is so complicated.

I'll have to do some ruminating on this one...

JUST A CITY BOY, BORN AND RAISED IN SOUTH DETROIT

 

It’s been a heck of week, a cold week, the coldest week I can recall in the twenty-two years I’ve lived in Phoenix. My ficus trees are dead – dammit. It was cold enough to hurt your face, if that makes any sense. The automatic sprinklers watered the baseball field outside my classroom each morning and you could have ice skated on the puddles all afternoon. I had this fantasy of secretly tossing a little water onto the concrete outside of my door and asking a couple of choice freshmen to leave the classroom. I’ve seen the trick in movies. It’s not the kind of thing that happens in an Arizona desert city.



A few of my students competed in an academic competition across town. I served as sponsor and chauffeur. Would you believe me if I told you those kids made fun of my family Chevy Astro van? Well, they did, all the way out and all the way back – both days. They made fun of the cracked windshield, my broken blinker and the dents on the sides. They made fun of my busted taillight. And they made fun of the fact that the front doors wouldn’t open, forcing the front passenger and me to crawl in from the back. It kind of got to me when they called my family van a “creeper van.”


“Hey!” I told them, “Did you ever consider that this is the kind of car you gotta drive when you have five kids and a teachers’ salary? Huh? Did you?”


“How come teachers always complain about their salaries?” one of them asked.


“All you got to do is look at this van,” another kid came to my rescue.


“I happen to like this van. It reminds me of the broken orb on George Bailey’s staircase in it’s a Wonderful Life,” I said.


“Who’s George Bailey?” two or three of them asked at once.


By the way, the radio does work. I demonstrated this for my kids by playing A Prairie Home Companion all the way home Saturday night. For some reason, teenagers don’t fully appreciate Garrison Keillor. Got to tell you, I appreciated their lack of appreciation for Mr. Keillor.
The team didn’t exactly break any records. We had a few kids drop out, leaving us quite shorthanded. The highlight came when my students demonstrated the ability to sing that Journey song with the line, “Just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit…”


It was a good moment. I mean, nobody took home a trophy or a medal and they made fun of my van, but all of my kids knew all of the words to very cool song. It was a very cool moment. Yeah, cool enough to help me appreciate my profession, my wise cracking students, and my 2000 Chevy Astro van.