Sunday, February 14, 2010

Uncle Emily


My American Literature students have been reading the poetry of Emily Dickinson. Got to tell you, I really dig teaching Emily Dickinson, this is partly due to the fact that her quatrains can be sung to the tune of the Gilligan’s Island theme song.

It’s true, try it.

We never know how high we are
Till we are called to rise;
And then, if we are true to plan,
Our statues touch the skies.


Uncle Emily, as she liked to call herself, was truly a quirky cool human being. The woman rarely left the house. Some think her self imposed house arrest had something to do with her tendency to fall for married guys, but no one knows for sure. The bottom line is she spent most of her adult life writing poetry and letters at her bedroom window overlooking an old grave yard.

I suppose what intrigues me most about Dickinson is the fact that she lived out her 56 years unpublished. She did submit her poetry, but they said her stuff was too unconventional, that she would need to make revisions, that her poetry was not marketable. So she sat at the window, looking at those tombstones pounding out beautiful poems.

After she died her relatives found countless neatly wrapped packages containing almost 1,800 brilliant poems. Her poetry wasn’t published in its intended form until 60 years after her death.

Emily Dickinson never backed down; she never played the game; she never worried about agents or editors or publishers. She just wrote – she just wrote amazing, beautiful, mind blowing poetry.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Curmodgeonly Behavior


I’ll be turning 50 later this month and the process has begun. Clearly I’m starting to morph into a curmudgeonly old bastard.

I recently spent a Saturday coaching a group of high school students in an academic competition. My team was on track to place dead last, a fact that undoubtedly had affected my attitude. Three key students recently quit the team. To make matters worse, one of the top performers called off sick at the last minute. Another kid missed the bus Saturday morning. When she showed up late, missing four of the ten events, I asked what happened. She looked me dead in the eye and told me she couldn’t find her phone. She was ;ate because she couldn’t find her phone.The bottom line is we competed with students in just four of the nine slots. Now wouldn’t you call this a bad way to start a Saturday?

The students were off for two hours of testing, leaving me with a reasonable amount of time to regroup. There was a gas and gulp joint down the road and I figured I might walk over and pick up a cup of coffee. A long transcendentalist walk in the fresh morning air might help me clear my cranium. Before I made it out the door another coach stopped me and pointed me toward the teacher’s lounge.

It was like nothing I’d ever seen. There was an enormous bay window overlooking cool green athletic fields and cow pastures. Facing the window were eight leather recliner chairs. Fighting back tears of joy, I filled up a cup of joe and dropped my bag beside a chair. Falling back into the chair, I reclined, sipped and opened up the paper. Teacher Heaven, baby – nothing less than Teacher Heaven.

At the time I hit the recliner there were perhaps five coaches in the room. Within five minutes the lounge was filled with coaches, all but one from a particular school district on the other side of town; I’ll call it District X. The District X people filled in the recliners and commenced to hooting it up. The conversation was cliquish so I tried to make small talk with the other non District X teacher. To say the coaches from District X were loud would be an understatement. One guy had the loudest voice I’ve ever heard; he kind of sounded like Darth Vadar, only nerdier and much louder. And then there was the woman sitting next to me. When she laughed she cackled like a chicken with a pitch so high it should have broken the bay window. This lady’s cackles absolutely pierced my skull. Every time she cackled, I shuddered - and I got a little angrier.

After one particularly noggin blasting cackle, I sprung to my feet.

“That’s it! I can’t take it.”

I headed for the door. One of the District X women asked me if I left my computer. I didn’t answer; I just waved her off and got the hell out of there. It wasn’t long before I realized I’d left my bag. The woman was talking about my bag. When I returned to the room my chair had been filled and the district X people had settled into a calm, quiet conversation.

I snatched my bag up and the woman asked, “What’s the matter with you?”

This is the part where I turned into the cartoon thermometer and the mercury exploded through the top.

“Lady, you’re asking me what’s the matter? You know what the hell’s the matter. You wanted the chairs, YOU GOT THE CHAIRS!”

Not exactly witty, but I got my point across.

Actually I felt pretty stupid.

To make matters worse, I kept running into those people all day. When I passed a couple of younger District X women, they put their heads down. I heard one of them stifle a laugh after they passed.

Pretty curmudgeonous, huh? All I needed was a cane to wave around.

Then again, those District X people were behaving rudely.

The truth is I could have quietly turned to the cackler and asked her to tone it down. Or I could have quietly got up and left. But the pendulum could have swung the other way. I could have called them all sons of bitches and tipped over all of the recliners before I left. That would have been cool – curmudgeon cool…

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Going Bananas on Mill Avenue


The yellow one was with the Justice League on Mill Avenue.
Here's of a shot of the big yellow guy making his presence known to Clif the Lawyer.

Clif the Lawyer likes a good time just as much as the next guy. But the banana just wouldn't leave him alone. Big Yellow actually caused Clif to miss a nice bus shot. But did Clif lose his cool? Heck no, Clif the Lawyer's got enough patience to be a doctor.


Here's the the banana with four runners warming up for the P.F. Chang's Marathon.
One of the girls shouted in a German accent, "HEY, WHY ARE YOU PHOTOGRAPHING A BANANA?"
To which I adeptly replied, "I, I DON'T HAVE THE SLIGHTEST IDEA!"

The big guy looms high above Mill Avenue in the high rise parking garage with Clif, Rick and Casey.


Here I am trying to get artsy with the banana and a windo reflection shot. Looks like I'm all about bananas and reflection shots.


The big banana didn' make it to the end of the shoot. I got hungry. There will be other bananas and other shoots.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

SnYder CoMics #4

SnYder CoMics 2010


For years, the common No Checks sign in restaurants has compelled me to do a bad Steve Martin and Dan Akroyd wild and crazy guys imitation and make a scene similar to the one portrayed in my comic. It never gets old for me. As for my wife, it's another story...

Saturday, January 23, 2010

The Arizona Justice League of Photograpers On Mill Avenue


The Arizona Justice League of Photographers recently ventured out to Mill Avenue in Tempe
From left to right are Rick the I.T. Guy, Casey the Chef, Clif the Lawyer and Yours Truly.


Mill Avenue runds along the Western side of Arizona State University. Lined with gorgeous ficus trees and dotted with coffee shops, book stores, restaurants, bars and funky curious characters, it's a fantastic place to take a few pictures on a crisp January morning. It's also a great place for a date. My wife and I took a cozy stroll along Mill Avenue on the night we met.


These two characters were kind enough snap a few pictures of our crew. They introduced themselves as Lucy and Ricky, a couple of wandering Bolivian billionaires. It's not every day you meet wandering Bolivian billionaires.


This is Mill Avenue's name sake, the Hayden Flour Mill. The structure is nearly a hundred years old and rumored to be haunted.




I tried to get artistic this time around.


Clif the Lawyer came up with the idea of climbing up to the top floor of a parking structure for some top of the world type shots. My acrophobia was in full swing.



Here's a reflection shot into a glass building. If you look closely you can see Clif and me snapping away from the top of the structure.



Here's your run of the mill girl with a cat on a leash and kid holding a sword with a cat on his shoulder. I asked him what the sword was for and he just laughed, scary like. I laughed too, as I walked away, real fast like.




No big deal - a picture of a guy standing in front of a phone booth talking on a cell phone.


How about a picture of a guy standing in front of a phone booth talking on a banana?
Yeah, that's what I thought...



Here's Clif the Lawyer under the lush cover ficus trees having a conversation with one of the Mill Avenue regulars.


Really don't know what to say about this head shop window photo. Just thought it looked kinda cool in an every little thing goanna be alright kinda way...


This bus obviously made it's destination. I'd like to know what the launch point was.

This is a shot of All Saint's Catholic Church across the street from ASU. Over a hundred years old, it's the oldest house of worship in greater metropolitan Phoenix


Here I am trying to be mister artistic photographer guy.


I thiught the light flashes between the orange tree leaves might make a good picture.

I know what you're thinking. Where the heck are the goof ball banana shots?
Next week, friends. Next week.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Friday, January 15, 2010

Bloggers Can Help the Suffering People in Haiti

Go to Blogger Buzz. Put a 'Support The Haiti Disaster Relief Effort' widget on your blog, as I have done in my sidebar.

http://buzz.blogger.com/2010/01/support-haiti-disaster-relief.html

Thursday, January 14, 2010

A Story from The Eight Fingered Criminal's Son

A story from The Eight Fingered Criminal's Son
“The Laughing Monks (1998)"
by W.Z Snyder
© 2006 William Snyder


The Laughing Monks
(Scottsdale, Arizona – 1998)


DART SAFETY AND THE PURPLE BIKINI WILL BE AVAILABLE IN A BOOK STORE IN THAILAND THIS NOVEMBER.

Check current postings to learn how to purchase a copy.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

SnYder CoMic #2

2010 SnYder CoMic # 2




Peter Mayhew, the actor who played Chewbacca in Star Wars, was also an exceptional professional baseball player.
As a matter of fact, Peter was named Wookie of the Year.









There you have, SnYder CoMic #2.

While I sincerely doubt the newspapers will be beating down my door, I'm relatively confident that I topped SnYder CoMic #1.
I thought about wowing you all with something really spectacular, but I realized that would until coming up with a spectacular comic. I did come up the pun. I'm not sure whether this is a good thing or a bad thing.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Moshing with Skeletal Secrets and a Couple of Cactus Shots

Hanging with Skeletal Secrets


A couple of weeks ago I took advantage of an opportunity to attend a Skeletal Secrets Concert. Above, I can be seen standing with former student band members Gabe and Nick. I'm the goofball in the middle. I still want to know what the hand signs mean.

Got to tell you, I'm not so old that I can't enjoy a little heavy metal music. As a matter of fact, I happen to know there are countless subcategories of metal music. You've got you basic death metal, speed metal and black metal. Skeletal Secrets is known across the greater Phoenix area as an operetic metal band. The lead singer, Chelsie, a current student of mine and a talented opera singer, handles the lead vocals.

I didn't realize they still had mosh pits. Obviously, I'm a little old for mosh pits. On the other hand, it's like Leroy Satchel Paige said, "When it comes to age, it's all mind over matter; it you don't mind, it don't matter."

It's been a little over two weeks and I almost have full range of motion back in my neck and I'm hardly limping at all, thank you.


Justice League Cactus Shots and a Window


These sans banana, cactus shots were taken on the last Arizona Justice League of Photographers adventure along the road between Canyon Lake and Tortilla Flat.



Something about the protrtuding nails intrigued me. I couldn't help wondering who drobve the nails into that saguaro. Why? When? Mysteries are good thing.


Here's a window shot taken in Tortilla Flat. All me to point out that it wasn't easy keeping that camera hogging giant banana out of these pictures.

SnYder CoMics
Watch for the newest SnYder CoMic this Sunday. Remember, I didn't want to set the bar to high with the first comic. I'm ready to get serious about the second panel. You people had better look out because I feel something big coming .
Wait, maybe it's gas...

Sunday, January 3, 2010

SNYDER COMICS #1

I'm one of those new year's resolution guys. I actually spent hours cranking out a list of resolutions for the new year. One of my resolutions involves drawing a weekly comic.

It may not be much, but at least I'm covered for week one.




Happy New Year!

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The Arizona Justice League of Photographers and the Banana go to Canyon Lake and Tortilla Flats



The amazing photographs on this posting are available for your viewing pleasure thanks to blogger, Kavita of India...

Armed with a tank full of gas and a few cameras and a fresh banana, the Arizona Justice League of Photographers headed East of metropolitan Phoenix to do their thing at Canyon Lake and Tortilla Flats.



Clif the Lawyer barely eludes a giant banana. You're reading the sign right - it does say 14 feet, 3 inches.


Clif the Lawyer gets up close and personal with a giant banana.


Former New Christy Minstrels singer, Eric the Photographer has no idea of what looms behind.

Too late...


When a banana's got to go, a banana's got to go.



The giant bananas are absolutely ubiquitous.

Clif the Lawyer, Eric the Photographer and Rick the IT guy exchange banter in the presense of the giant banana.
The banana shares a few stories and jokes with Clif and Eric.


Sunday, December 27, 2009

Christmas 2009


It’s over?

I’m a lucky schlep. Family, kids, Christmas tree, fire in the hearth; it was all there.

I did a lot of wrapping. My wife scratched the records.

Bah dump bump…

Actually I spent about ten hours wrapping presents.

Speaking of rapping, I like to tell my students I was the best rapper in my old neighborhood in back in L.A. This was a time when guys like Ice Tea and Snoop Dog were just coming up. But I was the best of them all. Everybody knew I was the best because all of the mothers in the neighborhood brought their gifts to me. I was known for my tight bows and sick use of ribbons.

Bah dump bump…

I’m in the habit of making note of the quirky aspects of life. You want quirky? How does three and a half hours in a Target store sound? Yeah, I spent three and a half hours in a Target store.

It all began with fellow blogger, Kavita in India. She left a comment on my last blog pointing out that I could take my camera card to a photo shop and have the pictures transferred over to a disk. I’d been trying to figure out how to get the photos on my camera for a couple of weeks.

So I told my wife I was heading over to the photo department at Target. My wife came along to “pick up a few things.” Thanks to Kavita I had my pictures on the disk in 30 minutes.

However, my wife was just getting started; she was in the zone, casually browsing the aisles, stopping for discourse with a dozen or so friends and acquaintances. After two hours I had a seat at the food section and stared at my watch. I wondered if we’d hit two and half hours? No way would we make it to three hours I was excited, in a quirky kind of way, when my wife checked out at the three hour and 31 minute mark.

You don’t see that kind of thing every day.

Three and a half hours in Target, that’s pretty quirky.

Happy Holidays

The Justice League photos are coming.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

The Arizona Justice League of Photographers, Canyon Lake


Question: How many teachers does it take to transfer 100 photos from a digital camera to a computer?

Answer: More than the number living in my house.


The Justice League of Photographers recently explored Canyon Lake and Tortilla Flats. I took close to 100 photos. Thanks to modern technology I can show you exactly one. Why just one photo? If I could answer the question, I could probably download the photos now couldn’t I?

I returned from the photo shoot raring to upload the photos. As you probably know, uploading is a simple process that entails connecting the camera to the computer with, catch this, a USB cord and clicking on the right places on the computer screen. That’s right; I know what a USB cord is. I clicked on the screen but nothing happened. Three hours of screwing around with the computer yielded me no pictures.

I decided to seek out the expertise of my coworkers. The next door teacher is a camera/computer aficionado; he immediately ascertained that my USB cord is a piece of junk. Using his top of the line USB cord, he expeditiously transferred the pictures to the, get this, K drive on my work computer. That’s right folks; I know what a k drive is Now that the pictures were on my k drive, all I had to do was email the folder to my home computer. Long story short - I get it; it’s a little late for a long story short - the email wouldn’t accept the whole file and I was only able to send one picture, one banana picture.

The next day I sought out a different camera/computer specialist. He told me I needed to buy a little ten dollar box. This box would hold my camera card and transfer pictures much more easily. Finally, a simple answer. I mean, what could be simpler than a ten dollar box?

On the way home I stopped at Radio Shack. I showed my camera to the 16 year-old clerk.

“I need the little ten dollar box for the picture card.”

OK, my description was far from eloquent but she seemed to know what I meant. Rolling her eyes, she snatched a package with the little box and rang me up.

“21.50.”

“I though these little boxes were ten bucks.”

“21.50.” she said coldly.

“Are you sure this little box will work on my computer?” I asked handing her my debit card.

“Just follow the directions.” she said handing me my receipt and box.

I thought about telling her that if her Radio Shack gig ever went south there was a Subway down the street where she’d fit right in.

I know this is hard to believe, but even with box, I was not able to successfully transfer the pictures from the camera to the computer. Although the kid wasn’t very happy to see me again, she took the box back and credited my card with the 21.50.

And so I have this Banana picture.