Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Steve McQueen, Curly Search and Scorpion Wars

 THE LATEST EIGHT FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON NEWS 
THE EIGHT FINGERED CRIMINAL'S SON, a kooky collection of quirky stories based on true  events will be available for purchase at this site or at GELI Book Store in Bangkok, Thailand and Tempe Auto Repair in Tempe, Arizona in November. We'll be announcing two new venues this week and promotional video number three is in the works. Stay tuned for more information...

Watch the epic book promo for The Eight Fingered Criminal's Son here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-c7zvZ4mt1I&feature=related

Jim Carrey has backed out of the role of Curly in The Three Stooges Movie. Benicio del Toro is set to play Moe while Paul Giamatti has replaced Sean Penn to play Larry.
My family and I have been waging all out war against the bark scorpions of Arizona for a little over a month. We’ve eviscerated upwards of 150 of the diabolical creatures. And still, they keep coming. My eight year-old was stung a couple of weeks ago. She took a stinger to the knee. It scared the macaroni and cheese out of her, but she was fine in half an hour.

And so the conflict rages on. Every night we head out to the perimeter of the house with a can of Raid, a hammer and a black light flashlight. The family that eradicates scorpions together stays together. Joe, the neighbor on the other side of the wall hunts scorpions too. He uses a blow torch to take the little bastards out. Joe seems to enjoy the process a little too much. Every time he makes a kill, the other side of the wall lights up and we hear Joe laughing diabolically. I accidentally squirted him with Raid last week. I suppose I’m lucky he didn’t lose his cool and let me have it with the blow torch.





This shot of the King of Cool is from the film, Le Mans and it's nothing short of epic. The finger gesture, known as “the two finger salute,” goes back to the Hundred Years’ War. Legend has it that prior to the Battle of Agincourt, the French knights bragged they would cut off the string pulling fingers of the heavily outnumbered English and Welsh bowmen. After soundly thrashing the French army with their longbows, the English and Welsh bowmen raised their intact bow fingers in celebration.

















15 comments:

kavita said...

Scorpions !!!!you are one courageous family,just last night my daughter spotted one large spider in the bathroom ...yelled so hard...to see what happened i rushed to her...believe me her mother shouted much more louder than her...finally grandma(my mom in law) came to our rescue.Scorpion hunting....we need to learn a lot from you..i am going to show her this once she is back from school...

#167 Dad said...

Kavita,
It could be worse. Our fellow blogger Bullshee lives in India and says cobras have slitered into his house. My sister-in-law lives in Hawaii and has been awakened by foot long centipedes crowling on her feet.

Lazy Writer said...

Wow! Scorpions? Sounds like a good description for a novel. If you don't use it, can I?

#167 Dad said...

LazyWriter,
Take my scorpions and run...

Guely of Sweden said...

Wow it almost sounds like one of those 50's black and white movies with Richard Carlson and giant atomic insects crowling from the desert. Well, and your neighbour is the typical guy that won't make it to the end even if you try to safe his life in a incredible cliffhanger!
Or is it the "Day of The Animals" finally coming??

italgalmm said...

OK....My question is...

Did you give them the two finger salute?... or just one?

; )

#167 Dad said...

Guely,
Wow. My life as a 1950s B horror movie. I think you nailed it. Too bad about my blow torch carrying neighbor.

itlgalmm,
From now on, everybody gets the two finger salute.

Midlife Jobhunter said...

"Every night we head out to the perimeter of the house with a can of Raid, a hammer and a black light flashlight."

Hah, sounds like my slug hunts while trying to grow a garden in Colorado. They didn't sting though.

I had no idea they were filming a Three Stooges movie. I can't wait.

#167 Dad said...

MJ-
But slugs must be more disgusting to squish...

Norman Cho said...

Apparently, you can freeze the little buggers and they then thaw out unharmed. Maybe you should just collect them and freeze them. You never know, one day they may come in handy...

#167 Dad said...

OK Norm the Comic,I'll bite. How does an unfrozen scorpion come in handy?

Norman Cho said...

As I recall, the Church of Scientology used to mail poisonous snakes to people it regarded as the enemy. Someone gives you a bad review, you could, you know...

Or for something a little more user-friendly:

Recipe: Scorpions on a bed of endives and herb cheese

Remove the stings and pincers from the scorpions. Marinate for 30 minutes in white wine, honey and lemon. Bake in a 250°C oven for 5 minutes. Stir-fry the endives, together with garlic, pepper and salt. Serve them hot on plates and add 50 g of herb cheese, allowing it to melt. Top each plate with a few scorpions.

No charge for the consultation.

Norman Cho said...

Please note, I haven't actually tried the recipe myself, Found it on the WWW. Let me know how it pans out.

#167 Dad said...

Norm -

Those crazy darned Scientologists. What will they think of next.

I Think I'll pass on the scorpion meal.

Keep writing those jokes.

Chris Butterworth said...

just saw your post while doing an off-season search in preparation for our own scorpion battle this spring.

We also live in Phoenix, and last spring moved into a previously bank-owned home backing up to a desert wash. The home had been vacant for over a year before we moved in. Turns out the vacancy, coupled with the desert wash behind, created scorpion heaven!

We killed almost 50 of the little bastards last summer (half of which were INSIDE.) Fortunately nobody was stung. This year I'm gearing up for an all-out assault..

Best to you & yours,