My wife and I took the kids to the bargain matinee Friday. Unlike many adults, my children, aged six, eight, and eleven demonstrated the ability to quietly watch a movie without disturbing others. We saw Imagine That with Eddie Murphy. It was a decent little movie - as kids movies go. But the real show was in the theater. The last thing I want to do is sound like some kind of curmudgeon, but I’m telling you the screw balls were out in force. About ten minutes into the movie a woman four rows up from me started texting. Fighting off the urge to yell at her or throw something at her, I tried to focus on the movie.
It wasn’t long before my attention was diverted to a whining kid up front in the center row. Someone told the kid to shut up so the woman picked the kid up and wandered to the back of the theater and stood, where else, right next to yours truly. The little brat continued to whine. I looked at the woman. She looked at me. Nothing. The rotten kid kept right on whining. How stupid was this broad? I finally whispered, “Come on, lady” prompting her to move to a spot directly behind a senior citizen. By now I and forgotten about the movie. The old lady turned around and shushed the kid. She woman shushed the old lady back.
My attention was sucked away from the shushing duel when a rather large woman slammed into the back of my seat and sat directly behind me. She proceeded to make grunting noises, pop her gum and kick my seat, and hack away with horrific phlegm filled cough for the duration of the movie. Not wanting to blow my top in front of my kids I kept it in, just ate the anger. What’s wrong with people? I mean is it just me or are there not an inordinate number of nincompoops running around loose out there? It’s getting worse. I’m stealing a line from the movie, Duets when I tell you I’m afraid society has lost its finesse.
I’m done with movie theaters for a while.
