Friday, January 2, 2009


#167 Dad’s Mini Review



The highly acclaimed film, "Doubt" is indeed worth the eight bucks. Though provoking. I gave it four out of five dads. Philipp Seymour Hoffman is dazzling and so is Meryl Streep.

Got to tell you though, I’ve never been a big fan of Meryl Streep. She’s a good actress, but it seems like she’s always staring out of windows, looking monumentally depressed. And another thing, doesn’t Meryl Streep sound like a made up name? What’s that? You’re saying lots of movie stars have made up names? Oh yeah, I guess that’s true. But names like John Wayne and Kirk Douglass don’t sound nearly as made up as Meryl Streep. And like I said, she does spend too much screen time staring out of windows and looking awfully depressed. There you have it; it’s all on the table. Now you know how I really feel about Meryl Streep.

One of the characters is a young nun, played by Amy Adams. I couldn’t get over the fact that she was cute as a button. As a veteran of the 1960’s Catholic schools, I feel compelled to set the record straight on the matter of cute nuns. There were no cute nuns in the 1960’s. End of story.

One more thing, what has happened to the American public? Did a huge percentage of people suddenly become hopelessly stupid or were the hopelessly stupid people staying away from the movies until now?

Note number one to the hopelessly stupid people:
Don’t text in the movie theater. Your flashing phone screen is incredibly distracting to the guy behind you.

Note number two to the hopelessly stupid people:
You’re not supposed to talk on the phone in a movie theater.

Note number three to the hopelessly stupid people:
Leave your kids at home or at the child care center which is conveniently located IN THE MOVIE THEATER.

Where was I? Oh, the review. It’s a good movie, but unless you’re hopelessly tolerant, stay out of the movie theaters. Wait for the video.

Here’s the Spirit Guide Bar rejection email of the day.

Thank you for the interesting query. The concept has many compelling elements but due to our workload and current areas of expertise, I do not believe we are quite the right agency for this project. We are rarely able to add new authors to our roster.

Not bad – as rejections go…