Friday, February 25, 2011


A few years ago, bored out of my skull, I transcribed a Friday afternoon faculty meeting.
Here here is the most exciting portion of an hour and fifteen minute meeting.

“That’s all I have. Is there anything else?” the boss asks.
Please nobody say anything, I think.

“I have a question about the dress code, Mr. Hammer,” one of the idiots pops off.

“Shoot,” Hammer replies.

Don’t shoot!!! I beg, using my best extra sensory communication.

“Boys aren’t allowed to wear ear rings at the junior high. Is that right?”

“Correct,” Hammer answers in no particular hurry.

“What about safety pins?”

“Safety pins in their ears?”

“That’s right.”

“Well, isn’t that a health issue. It’s not sanitary, is it?” another mindless nincompoop enters the fray.

“I’ve seen students take safety pins from their ears and throw them across the room,” someone else decides to throw in her two cents.

“Now we’re talking about a classroom management issue,” Hammer states very seriously.

“What about paperclips? Are we going to allow the boys to put paper clips in their ears?”

At this point I begin searching the room for the hidden camera. This has got to be some elaborate joke on me and they are all in on it.

Bla, bla, bla, bla.

Superfluous, superfluous, and more superfluous.

My god, how I hate meetings!


Anonymous said...

I think I was in that meeting.

Akseli Koskela said...

Haha! What a typical faculty meeting... let me guess it was a quarter to five or something and you were expecting to be out of there an hour ago! I know exactly how you feel.

JJ said...

I can't understand why nobody suggested forming a committee.

Clif said...

Happy Birthday, W.Z!

#167 Dad said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
#167 Dad said...

Like war, meetings are an example of man's failure as a thinking animal.

Anonymous said...

That is profound. I'll remember that one. Thanks!

David C. said...

Someone once said, "No great ideas were ever born in a meeting, but a lot of stupid ones died there."